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| Embarrassing question. (humping) | |
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Author | Message |
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Snow White Teenager
Join date : 2012-04-02 Location : Maryland
| Subject: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 10:54 am | |
| Before you read: No my dog was not in heat, I'm sure of it. And yes we do intend on spaying her after her first heat.
We were at the dog park and this little mutt neutered male started humping our unfixed GSD. This dog would NOT get off my dog. Our girl kept running away from him and he would NOT let up. He would chase her down and try to mount her. Finally she had enough and started attacking him but he STILL wouldn't leave her alone. My husband was getting really upset (she's his daughter pretty much lol) and gently pushed the other dog off using his foot, still the dog got right back on our girl. Finally the owner shows up and picks up his dog and starts kissing him and carrying him around like a baby and giving me and my husband dirty looks.
Can someone please tell me what I should have done in this situation? |
| | | cmanding Nutrition Subject Moderator
Join date : 2010-10-12 Location : Denver, CO
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 11:33 am | |
| I was at the dog park this past weekend, and Storm can be overwhelming at times, especially with smaller dogs, which he loves to play with. There was a Golden at the park that day that was playing fetch with a stick with the owner. Huskies don't play fetch but they like to chase the dog is playing fetch. Storm was excited with his hackles up, to play chase the Golden and as he's chasing the other dog, he'd sometimes pummel into the dog causing the Golden to go tumbling.
What the woman did, was I thought pretty cool. Instead of touching Storm, she raised her hand and called out to the park, 'Who's dog is this?' I went running over, and she said, 'Is your dog aggressive? His hackles are up, and he's chasing my dog and has caused him to trip.' I explained that he was not aggressive and that he just wants to play chase, but she was uncomfortable with Storm causing him to trip, so I brought him over to where the rest of the huskies were playing.
I thought the way she handled it was nice, but letting me know she didn't like how Storm was playing with her Golden.
Maybe you could call out to the park and ask for the owner of the dog, and then politely let them know you don't like whatever their dog is doing to your dog? That way, you haven't touched their dog, and you left the responsibility to the owner to do something about it. If the other dog owner is still being a pill about it, then they are just pills! _________________ |
| | | rileyflorence Adult
Join date : 2011-05-15 Location : South Jordan, UT
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 11:34 am | |
| Dogs will be dogs. They mount. Some are obsessive. I rarely interfere with mounting. If I break it up it just keeps happening, if one of the dogs gets a little nasty it usually stops. Sometimes the dogs just don't care. I think you handled it fine, but you could have approached the owner I suppose. If there's behavior at the dog park I don't like, I leave. It doesn't matter if it's someone else's dog causing problems and they should be the one to leave, I just take the initative and remove my dog. |
| | | Snow White Teenager
Join date : 2012-04-02 Location : Maryland
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 11:39 am | |
| We did end up leaving.
I just think it's absolute garbage that I have to leave when my dog is very well behaved and trained and some weirdo let's his dog become an obsessive humper gets to stay.
I thought about staying and letting the dogs work it out, but my dog is still tech a puppy so I didn't want her to have a bad experience and become aggressive. She did not seem to like what was going on at all.
We definitely did vocalize our concern to the owner as he walked up but he didn't say anything. However 23 know-it-alls jumped on us saying "they're just dogs, let them be it's not a sexual thing it's fine."
one guy even said "don't bring your dog here if she's in heat!" |
| | | cmanding Nutrition Subject Moderator
Join date : 2010-10-12 Location : Denver, CO
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 12:16 pm | |
| Yep, unfortunately, they are the ones that think they know it all, and have no regard or respect for other owners. Our little group were laughing and encouraging and heckling the humping and rough play, but that was within our group only. I'm sorry - I'm like Riley. If there are other owners that don't understand husky play, or don't have respect for other dog owners and what we may be ok with or not be ok with, we end up leaving. I have only found a few dog parks so far where other dog owners are mindful of what their dogs are doing. I'm so tempted to buy land and make my own private dog park! _________________ |
| | | NadirCs Teenager
Join date : 2012-03-28 Location : Vienna, VA
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 12:24 pm | |
| My dog (who is fixed) DESPISES being humped. She immediately knows the difference between a dog jumping on her and one trying to mount her, and while she hasn't ever bit a dog trying to mount her she gives the nastiest snarls and growls if one does. She has, luckily, rarely been humped at the dog park but every now and then there is a humping-obsessed dog there and I watch like a hawk, and as soon as he tries to mount Phantom, I pull my dog away and walk far away from that dog saying to the owner, "My dog really hates being humped and gets nasty if she is." (I kind of make it sound like it's my dog's fault she has this "issue" but I honestly think it's a fair issue to have!)
It's unfortunate that dog's owner didn't care. Generally at our dog park if there is a humping issue it's the one dog trying to hump everyyyy dog and the owner is very aware and trying to correct it. I don't think it's fair that you should just "let dogs be dogs" with humping. The owner should correct his/her offending dog. I'd still leave if it's an issue because my dog's safety is the most important issue, but I'd tell the owner it isn't ok to let his/her dog hump other dogs. Just try to be polite, get the owner involved, and remove your dog from the humper rather than pushing the humper off your dog. |
| | | Snow White Teenager
Join date : 2012-04-02 Location : Maryland
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 12:45 pm | |
| Good advice guys, thanks.
Looks like I'll have to be more proactive about talking to the other owner next time.
Hopefully there wont be a next time! lol
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| | | hypers987 Senior
Join date : 2011-08-25 Location : Santa Cruz, California
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 12:48 pm | |
| Kale's a humper unfortunately, but lately I've noticed that it's usually insecure dogs that he does it to, or just when he gets overly excited and doesn't know how to contain himself (like with my bf's dogs) lol I would rather have the dogs work it out, but other owners at the dog park here in town think it's obscene so he never gets a chance to get told off by the other dogs for doing it, which is irritating. I want the other dog to just turn around and hand it to him so he'll learn to stop. |
| | | brady.law Adult
Join date : 2011-04-14 Location : Roseville, CA
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 12:54 pm | |
| I know the feeling, I always said there should be a reality show about a dog park, so much drama happens. I get so irritated when the same dogs always show up who don't know how to act or are aggressive and the owners don't even care and keep coming back when everyone hates when they come... I mean I had to leave when certain people showed up because of their aggressive dogs... There was this pitbull that constantly would pin kiara down and snarl at while she would lay down submissive and the owner just sat there. Any dog that would get near the owner his pit bill ran barking and would try to pin down another dog. Kiara unfortunately tries to get every dog to like her. Also certain dogs would always try to mount her and she hates it, she will just sit down or she will do this thing where she runs and sits down and spins around in a circle, it's so odd. These people had 2 unfixed wheat land terriers and her male dog always tried humping kiara and would go from humping to attacking her and they would break it up but still would always stay and come back. Until their dog attacked another dog and ripped open this owners thumb and really messed up her hand. Some people shouldn't own dogs, no consideration for other people. |
| | | Snow White Teenager
Join date : 2012-04-02 Location : Maryland
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:11 pm | |
| I know if my dog every starts humping anything or anyone I would correct that behavior so freaking fast because if it isn't sexual, then it's about dominance. Neither are a good thing to have at a dog park in my opinion. |
| | | Fenrir Puppy
Join date : 2012-03-22 Location : Wichita, KS
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 2:31 pm | |
| There was a guy with a Bordeaux(sp?) Mastiff that he got specifically because it's a good guard dog, and he trained it to be aggressive and protective. He continues bringing it to the park like it's no big deal!
The first time I spoke with him, he was pissed that the small dog people wouldn't come to the big side and let his dog have that space to itself. "I told them he gets angry and needs private space, but they were little b*tches..." So he brings it to the large dog side and proceeds to tell me that I shouldn't pull my own dog off of his ("He'll get him off.") and rationalizes allowing his aggressive dog to run free by saying "You bring your dog to the dog park at your own risk." Now, my pup will hump for dominance, but I watch and pull him off when it happens. He also gets humped and sometimes I let it go, because he doesn't get annoyed by it -- but eventually, some dog will. On the flip side, I had a lady tell me that it was abusive to stop my dog when he was dom-humping her boxer...?
We have a police officer who comes to our park regularly with his "world's littlest German Shepherd" and, after relating that story to him, he talked about leaving his number on the wooden structure in the "social area" so that people could call him over with his shotgun when people like that come in. "Two warnings and I'll put their dog down. That's ridiculous. If it was legal, I'd put them down instead." |
| | | rileyflorence Adult
Join date : 2011-05-15 Location : South Jordan, UT
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 4:19 pm | |
| Humping has other meanings aside from sex or dominance. Also, don't mistake dominance for aggression. I only stop Appa if the other owner doesnt like it, and i mever remove a dog from Appa. i think its best to let them work it out. If I wasn't on my phone I'd elaborate. |
| | | Snow White Teenager
Join date : 2012-04-02 Location : Maryland
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 4:33 pm | |
| Either way I find it to be an undesirable trait and I would definitely train my dog not to do it to others. At least you have the decency to remove your dog when the owner is clearly uncomfortable! I wish all owners were as considerate. |
| | | hypers987 Senior
Join date : 2011-08-25 Location : Santa Cruz, California
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 4:44 pm | |
| - Snow White wrote:
- Either way I find it to be an undesirable trait and I would definitely train my dog not to do it to others.
I've been pulling Kale off other dogs and telling him a firm "no" since he was little, the only time he learns to not do it to certain dogs (like Marley my Bfs dog) is when the other dog tells him they don't like it. Me pulling him off has zero effect.
Last edited by hypers987 on Wed Apr 18, 2012 4:57 pm; edited 1 time in total |
| | | rileyflorence Adult
Join date : 2011-05-15 Location : South Jordan, UT
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 4:50 pm | |
| Ok, at a computer now. Obviously with all dog "psychology" there is no absolute 100% accurate. It's just what we guess, some are educated guesses, but until dogs start speaking, we're guessing here.
Dominance humping can be useful. Just like a dog needs to know it's place in the pecking order of your family, they need to know their pecking order with other dogs. Often this is achieved via humping.
Dogs can hump out of pain. Kind of like scooting their butt across the ground when they have impacted glands or what-not, humping can start up when the pup has pain in the genital region.
Most often dogs hump out of anxiety. Insecure dogs hump FAR more than secure truly dominant dogs. When a dog is nervous or anxious they may hump to try and calm themselves and "control" the situation. Simply teaching your dog not to hump is not fixing the problem, just masking it. Owners need to find the real problems and fix it. Appa was an anxious humper. He rarely humps anymore ... which leads me to the last point.
Dogs will hump to "diffuse" a situation. A truly "dominant", confident dog is not aggressive. They are usually the most calm of any dog. Appa humps dogs simply to calm them down. The only time I ever see him humping anymore is to "police" a situation. Once the other dog has settled it's nerves he stops. I've seen him stop a situation that was clearly going to "dog fight" territory simply by mounting the "aggressive" (which is usually nervous/uncomfortable/scared dog, not aggressive) until it cools it's jets. It helps calm the other dog.
Dogs are weird. They will do dog things, and yes, I let them do dog things even if it seems "awkward" because it's not to them, and often has a legitimate reason that should be addressed instead of the "awkward" behavior.
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| | | Tika The Long-Winded Canadian
Join date : 2011-08-11 Location : Montreal, QC
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:02 pm | |
| - rileyflorence wrote:
- Dogs are weird. They will do dog things, and yes, I let them do dog things even if it seems "awkward" because it's not to them, and often has a legitimate reason that should be addressed instead of the "awkward" behavior.
+1 perfectly said. Tika has been mounted twice, both times by females. Both times she instantly went stiff, and flopped over on her side. Kinda playing dead, but otherwise simply submitting. Both times the other dog stopped instantly and looked around confused. I personally treat humping like I do rough play.... Unless I can tell it's going to escalate into something bad I let it happen.... It's just part of iterations in the dog world. Protecting your dog, your friend, is one thing but I'm a firm believer in there are some things they also need to learn for themselves. I'll always protect Tika and if she is playing too rough with another dog that isn't reciprocating I'm the first person to break her off and refocus her. She is young and still makes mistakes when interacting with other dogs... So I'm all for letting as much dog socialization happen.... Strangely sometimes that means getting humped I guess ~Chris~ |
| | | Ksibe Newborn
Join date : 2012-03-26 Location : Wichita, KS
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:08 pm | |
| My girl Chloe humps a lot of dogs at the park, Fenrir being her favorite. I wouldn't let her to it to a dog I dont know because I have seen a few nasty fights starting because of this. She's not aggressive or anything, she just plays rough with the other dogs. Now, if a dog tries to hump Chloe she thinks its a game and rolls over playfully. |
| | | cmanding Nutrition Subject Moderator
Join date : 2010-10-12 Location : Denver, CO
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:10 pm | |
| - Tika wrote:
- I personally treat humping like I do rough play.... Unless I can tell it's going to escalate into something bad I let it happen.... It's just part of iterations in the dog world.
Protecting your dog, your friend, is one thing but I'm a firm believer in there are some things they also need to learn for themselves. I'll always protect Tika and if she is playing too rough with another dog that isn't reciprocating I'm the first person to break her off and refocus her.
She is young and still makes mistakes when interacting with other dogs... So I'm all for letting as much dog socialization happen.... Strangely sometimes that means getting humped I guess
~Chris~ Ditto! Perfectly said! _________________ |
| | | hypers987 Senior
Join date : 2011-08-25 Location : Santa Cruz, California
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:14 pm | |
| - Ksibe wrote:
- Now, if a dog tries to hump Chloe she thinks its a game and rolls over playfully.
lol Kale usually starts running at full speed, playfully, and a game of "chase" ensues haha All in good fun I guess! He's a hyperactive NUT for the first 5-10 minutes getting there, then he goes off on his own sniffing lol |
| | | Snow White Teenager
Join date : 2012-04-02 Location : Maryland
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:46 pm | |
| I probably should have mentioned that my dog is a very timid puppy and I didn't want her to have any bad experiences. I think this particular one has set her back to be honest. |
| | | NadirCs Teenager
Join date : 2012-03-28 Location : Vienna, VA
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:03 pm | |
| I think there's a difference between some of these examples and the poster's issue. The key here is some dogs hump "occasionally" when situations call for it (both dogs don't mind and are playing, "policing," vying for dominance, what have you) and some dogs have a humping issue and never learned its not an appropriate regular activity. In fact, some dogs develop compulsive humping disorders. The poster is dealing with a dog that would not stop trying to hump her dog over and over again and an owner who did not care that his dog wasn't stopping and that it was making the other dog very scared.
At our dog park there are dogs, male and female, that may hump another dog or something once/twice and no one really notices or pays attention. Then there are one or two dogs that want to hump every single dog every single second they are at the park. Luckily, those owners care and are trying to curb it. And if it gets to the point that it is terrifying (or about to cause a fight with) another dog, the owner pulls the dog away for a time out.
(I have to always pull my dog away from a dog that mounts her, regardless of the reason, because she will get super nasty. Then she hates that dog for the rest of her life. I don't blame the owner, I let them know Phantom's just a bitch about that and I take her away from the dog.)
But the poster here isn't complaining that a dog humped her dog and it was gross. She wanted to know the best response when an inattentive owner has a dog repeatedly humping her dog and terrifying it. I think there is a lot of good insight here into dog behavior, and maybe the answer is for the occasional incident, try to let the dogs sort it out. If it's repeated or upsetting your dog remove your dog from the situation and let the owner know the issue. |
| | | rileyflorence Adult
Join date : 2011-05-15 Location : South Jordan, UT
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:08 pm | |
| - NadirCs wrote:
- If it's ... upsetting your dog remove your dog from the situation and let the owner know the issue.
Agreed with this. My point is if it's causing problems, be the solution, remove yourself, rarely does anyone take "your dog is behaving poorly" lightly. They get defensive of their "child." |
| | | Snow White Teenager
Join date : 2012-04-02 Location : Maryland
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:36 pm | |
| Thanks for all the advice guys.
I guess I was getting a bit overwhelmed at the park because I had a group of people telling me trying to tell me 10 different things about dog behavior, so I was too fed up to have a calm, polite, conversation with the owner like I should have (even though he was glaring at me). Meanwhile my poor little timid 8 month old gsd is hiding in-between my legs terrified while this stupid little dog is like compulsively humping her, lol. |
| | | SabakaMom Senior
Join date : 2011-02-10 Location : Virginia
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:42 pm | |
| - rileyflorence wrote:
- Ok, at a computer now. Obviously with all dog "psychology" there is no absolute 100% accurate. It's just what we guess, some are educated guesses, but until dogs start speaking, we're guessing here.
Dominance humping can be useful. Just like a dog needs to know it's place in the pecking order of your family, they need to know their pecking order with other dogs. Often this is achieved via humping.
Dogs can hump out of pain. Kind of like scooting their butt across the ground when they have impacted glands or what-not, humping can start up when the pup has pain in the genital region.
Most often dogs hump out of anxiety. Insecure dogs hump FAR more than secure truly dominant dogs. When a dog is nervous or anxious they may hump to try and calm themselves and "control" the situation. Simply teaching your dog not to hump is not fixing the problem, just masking it. Owners need to find the real problems and fix it. Appa was an anxious humper. He rarely humps anymore ... which leads me to the last point.
Dogs will hump to "diffuse" a situation. A truly "dominant", confident dog is not aggressive. They are usually the most calm of any dog. Appa humps dogs simply to calm them down. The only time I ever see him humping anymore is to "police" a situation. Once the other dog has settled it's nerves he stops. I've seen him stop a situation that was clearly going to "dog fight" territory simply by mounting the "aggressive" (which is usually nervous/uncomfortable/scared dog, not aggressive) until it cools it's jets. It helps calm the other dog.
Dogs are weird. They will do dog things, and yes, I let them do dog things even if it seems "awkward" because it's not to them, and often has a legitimate reason that should be addressed instead of the "awkward" behavior.
I think this advice is spot on! My in-laws little Bichon humps Sabaka repeatedly when we visit his house. I want to let it go until the Bichon has either established his position as "head dog in his home" or until he feels more comfortable around this giant visiting dog. Sabaka doesn't care, he just turns around and watches like "what is this thing doing?". My in-laws find it disgusting and continually stop it. However, (I think) because they stop it, the little Bichon tries again and again and again... until it is just not fun for the people who are trying to visit while also stopping this dog behavior over and over. I really don't think the Bichon will completely stop until he has proved what he has set out to prove (whatever that is). You have to watch out for aggressiveness associated with it, but they are dogs and this action means something to dogs (much like marking a tree). I think it would be very had to curb completely... |
| | | norbreedslove Senior
Join date : 2012-02-24 Location : Denver Colorado
| Subject: Re: Embarrassing question. (humping) Wed Apr 18, 2012 8:45 pm | |
| Maggie doesn't even hump correctly. She humps their face...lol
sorry had to lighten the mood. |
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