I've been reading this board for hours and am so excited to find an area where so many people understand this breed!

We have a 12.5 year old male husky who just lost his brother 3 weeks ago. He stopped eating and just became so depressed he didn't even want to go out for his nightly walk. After much deliberation, we decided to adopt another friend for him. We found a 7 year old female who needed a good home and brought her home on Sunday. Sunday was great! They got along well and played. Each day that passes he becomes more standoffish. Have we done the right thing for him? We wanted a friend to keep him motivated for this world and are now afraid that this could cause him to check out on us.

We have been taking them out for long nighly walks and monitor feeding closely. She has quickly become attached to my husband and is sleeping next to his side of the bed. Is that bad? Is that fueling the resentment? We are trying to make the transition easy for her and she seems happy. She was very submissive the first couple of days, but is now pushing her boundaries, as we expected. But, can he handle it?

HELP...what is the best way to help them become friends?

First, welcome to our forum! So sorry to hear about your loss.

Time is my only advice really. Three weeks is still recent. When we lost our Saint, our boy Sioux was depressed for a couple of months. Mourning for them is like us, it's unpredictable and individual. Just make sure to keep giving him "his" time with both of you. As for the two getting closer, try taking them for walks in areas that are new to both of them.

Eddy's somewhat of a resident expert on integrating new dogs, so his advice is spot on. Taking them for walks together will help their bonding, but the only thing that I can suggest is time. It took Hailey a good 3 months to warm up to Koda and another 3 on top of that before we felt 100% comfortable with the two of them at all times. Time is very important.

Make sure that they both have their own spaces. Is there a place that is his and not hers, and vice versa? How much alone time are they each getting with you? Make sure he still has an hour or so of alone time with you each day.

I say keep with it. Give him time to recover. As long as he is still eating and drinking, he'll be okay. And thank you for rescuing what many would consider a "senior" dog! Welcome to the forum

Thank you for the warm welcome! I am so excited to find a place just about huskies, where people love and know them!

We have been making sure his sacred spot on the stairs is still his. However, after the loss of his brother, he has been out of sorts and moving around to some of his brother's old spots. I know he misses him. They were never apart! I don't know if we are over analizing him, because of our fear. As you probably know, you worry when our best friends lose their best friend.

He is really not eating. Last night was the first time really since his brother left that he ate. I boiled stew meat and added it with the water to his kibble and he ate! But, he has turned his nose and walked away with chicken and ground beef. He will take pieces of chicken from us, but not his food bowl. I read that we should not move his bowl, but he seems to be against things in it now.

The first three walks were great. Both dogs were happy and displaying the typical husky mannerisms, which made us so happy, as he would get out the door, walk 20 yards, and turn around to go home. But yesterday, he walked next to my husband, not in front. Is that a problem, or are we over thinking this?

They are both getting alone time, but she, Isis is the new kid and doesn't want it to end. When he tried to come interupt, she got territorial. We did correct her, I held her and petted, while Koda, the old guy got daddy time.

I will say even though she is 7, she has a lot more energy than he does. Could this be part of his stand-offish attitude? After reading the guarding posts, we did latch the gate and keep them both downstairs, thinking maybe she was sleeping next to the bed to guard my husband. Is that a good thing to keep her out, or do we let her in? We have two small kids (2 & 4) and with their ages, we kept the boys downstairs. But as soon as we lost our big guy, we started bringing Koda upstairs to try to keep him connected with us and the family. He did find a sleeping spot in the middle of the hall. So, when the gate is open, he sleeps upstairs in the middle of the hall, but she started sleeping in our room.

Thanks for listening and helping. It has been so hard to lose one of our first babies, and we really didn't think we'd ever get another, but knowing they are pack animals, thought we needed to give him someone else to communicate with. I will say, there was always a competition with food with his brother. He always waited until his brother finished eating before he'd eat a chew to or finish dinner, as if to taunt him. So, we did want him to have a pal to do that with.

It sounds like you are just over thinking things a little. As much as it seems so, dogs don't always deal with emotions the same way that we do. I would do your best to keep everything the same. Don't go soft on your discipline and rules because you feel bad for him. That can cause more harm than good. Dogs like discipline and boundaries. It helps them know their place in the pack and in the world. Changing things up makes him more insecure. Think about it... losing his friend was difficult enough, and now he doesn't know right from wrong anymore because rules (sleeping arrangements, feeding, etc) are changing. You think you're doing good, but it ends up just making them feel insecure. Make sense?

Even more so, from how you describe their feeding times, it sounds like your dog that passed was the pack leader. Waiting to eat can be seen as a sign of respect (not taunting ). It's possible that Koda is even more lethargic because he lost his pack leader and his friend. Thus, he's insecure on two levels, making consistency even more important.

So my advice is hold true to the rules that were there when his buddy was still around and he will come around. If he ate kibble before, continue feeding him kibble. He will eat when he's hungry. He won't starve himself. Just keep things the same. And hold Isis to the same rules and expectations that you hold Koda to. They will work it out.

Like Eddy said, sometimes grieving takes a long time for dogs just as it does us...and sometimes it doesn't. There are a number of factors that could be playing into their divide right now, so best to rule out any variables. Keep it all the same and simple.

Wow, we have wise folks in this forum. I can't think of a single thing to add that Tori and Eddy didn't already cover. It just takes time. My dog has been with us for 13 weeks (as of today!) - he and our cat have made GREAT STRIDES in their relationship, but there's still a ways to go, too.

Welcome to the forum! This is a fantastic little place on the 'net!

I'm also so sorry for your loss. Looking forward to getting to know you and your dogs! (And btw, I love the name Isis!)

CoffeeK8 wrote:

Wow, we have wise folks in this forum. I can't think of a single thing to add that Tori and Eddy didn't already cover. It just takes time. My dog has been with us for 13 weeks (as of today!) - he and our cat have made GREAT STRIDES in their relationship, but there's still a ways to go, too.

FYI - that's one of the reasons that treats exist (as reputation points). Just sayin' I really need to write something up on those as a sticky.

Quote :

This is a fantastic little place on the 'net!

Thank you Remember that you help make it that way! Love this forum

When I bring home a new dog (which happens a lot.. lol) for the first month I often will pretty much ignore the fact that there is a new dog. The dog is immediately responsible for holding up his end of the pack bargain. Regardless if it's a foster or possible new permanent member. The "new" dog is not allowed the privileges the resident dogs have (IE released onto the couch, allowed to sleep on the bed, first in line for treats... ect. ect. ect.) They are at the bottom of the totem pole. I'm not mean or harsh and I do give out attention but especially for the new dogs... it's when it's earned.

Structured walks together into new areas as well as spending individual time with each dog is important. With my new dogs I will often spend their individual time training or other fun games.

Don't worry so much about Koda. Dogs and people grieve much differently. Going to old spots of his brother is really natural and normal for them. I agree it sounds like his brother was the leader of the 2 while Koda was the follower. He hasn't only lost a brother, but a leader. You need to step up and show him that even if his brother is gone he will still be "taken care of." Unfortunately the way humans are used to taking care of another is totally different from dogs. Keep the same rules in place, have set walk times, and try to keep everything as normal and "in routine" as possible.

I look forward to seeing pictures and reading more about these 2. And if they need anything from you right now it's time and consistency

First, THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR RESPONES! We feel like we have found new friends who "get it!" We have found more sympathy here than from our family!

So, I guess we are over thinking. We do know we are still reeling from our loss. We went to the vet for a leaking bladder and over the course of a couple days discovered a large tumor on his liver that could reupture at any time. It was SO hard to decide to do the right thing for him and put him down so he could go in peace. We were with him till the end, as we wanted our faces to be the last he saw. We take comfort that he is in a better place, waiting at the rainbow bridge. We really struggled if we should take his brother to help him understand, but decided not to for fear it would break his heart. We have heard horror stories about huskies dying of broken hearts.

So, this won't kill him? He will get better with time? It was encouraging reading many stories of dogs hating each other and then growing close with time. They are never left unattended, except at night when we sleep with the door open. Has anyone tried BACH water? I have heard it is an herbal liquid for dogs to help with the depression. His brother was clearly the alpha and had never really considered that as a second loss. It makes more sense now.

Here is our new plan: keep the same routine (meaning keeping the upstairs gate closed), same walk time, and dinner time. Does it help that we are greeting him first and letting him in first from their yard time? We are keeping them seperate at meals and supervising. We knew this would be an adjustment, it's just hard to watch and not know what to do. We expect Isis to test us and him, and have been stepping in. Is that better, or do we watch and see if growls turn to anything more?

One more question: when both Shadow and Koda were young, they went for nightly car rides along with walks. This stopped as they got older and had a harder time climbing in the family SUV. We started taking Koda out in the car again with a lot of coaxing, but once he's in, he is happy in the front seat having his belly scratched. We've taken them both out in the car once after the return home, and she was crazy. Now she's obsessed with trying to get in the car. Do we take him? Alone or with her? He seems to sit in the front seat and watch her jump all over. Would this help the bonding or hurt it? What about his sense of structure?

It does seem like our ideas of helping, meaning spoiling too much is not helping. So, car, yes or no?

Again, thank you! BTW...I teach first grade and had the board up on my computer all day, trying to sneak and read it and some of the kids were like, hey, why are there dogs on your computer? Ha ha...I love your signature pictures with your babies!!!

alot of my fosters Are Just brought in and like others said . kinda Ignored till he Learned The routine Things Just fell Into place .. hope things settledown for u

No one can say for sure, but odds are he will recover like most dogs do and live a happy healthy life with you and Isis. If you want to continue to do car rides, I say go for it. You could use that as your alone time with him or you could bring Isis and try to get her to settle (you might have more luck doing that with her alone though).

I always let the growls happen and the bearing teeth. It's how they talk to each other and let each other know when enough is enough. The only time I step in is if I see a situation escalate where one more wrong move would turn into an all out brawl. Dogs are dogs, and I try to let them communicate with each other as such.

I think letting Koda come in first, feeding him first, and treating him first are all good things to do. Like others have mentioned, it's sometimes best to treat new additions as guests. We did the same with our Koda when we got Hailey. He still got everything first.

You have a lot going on right now with your two, so just stay calm and patient and let them work it out. I guarantee you that Koda is feeding off your energy too. If you're this nervous (understandably ) with us online, I can only imagine what you're like at home. I had to remember the same thing. I was in tears the first week we had Hailey and I needed to keep reminding myself to calm down for the dogs. It helps more than you know

We're very glad you're here! Good luck and definitely keep us posted. And of course we're here if you have more questions

Thanks! Next question, the situation right before dinner escalated. She refused to let him come in the dining area and my husband stepped in and firmly told her no. Isis then growled and tried to bite him (she did this earlier when she escaped into the garage and crawled under the car). Both times hubby, alpha person, disciplined her. She got pretty agro, but he stayed calm. Firmly telling her no, grabbing her collar and putting her outside. We left her out for about half an hour and had dinner, with Koda by the table and her outside. Was that the right thing to do? It felt right and seemed to make Koda feel better, as if alpha is still in charge.

Food seems to be her trigger, she almost acts like a wild dog. Since we are unsure why, we have taken away all chew toys and monitored dinner. Will feeding her outside and Koda inside make her food agression worse?

I am trying to remain calm, but you are right, it is hard. I am just so excited to find a place where people understand the breed and have guidance; the books (and we have many) just don't help in these types of situations. BTW...this board is WAY more fun the facebook...I think I'm an addict after less than 24 hours of discovering it!! THANKS for reading and responding!!

Not allowing her to get away with the behavior is definitely the right call. I will let someone else respond on how to actually handle the aggressive situation. It's tricky and because I'm not as experienced as others in that area, I'm going to defer (Eddy, Kristina- as someone who works in a shelter- I'm looking to you!).

As for the meal times... do they have crates? This is where crates come in very handy as I would recommend feeding both in their crates near each other. You want them to see each other, but not be able to get each other. If you don't have crates, I would do opposite sides of the room and gradually move them closer to feed.

You might want to "hand feed" Isis for a while. I like a recent recommendation to place food in her bowl by hand rather than actually hand feed her to avoid unintentional injuries (especially if she is an enthusiastic eater). But the idea is to make her sit and wait for her food and when she is calm, place a handful of food in her bowl. She needs to see YOU as the bearer of food and resources, not anyone/anything else (your husband is clearly okay too ).

Do you practice Nothing In Life Is Free training? If not, I would highly recommend it! Google it and you'll find tons of stuff on it, but the idea is to reaffirm your role as leader of the household by making them work for food, treats, attention, etc. This will help with BOTH dogs (as with Koda it will help his confidence that he will be provided for with the lack of companion).

And yeah, I'm definitely on here more than facebook, but I sort of have to be Where did you find us, out of curiosity?

The first couple days I had Odin we went to Petsmart as a trial run to see how he is in public as well as see how he reacts to such a thing. Cheyenne came with us as she's the most social sweet butterfly in the world One of the employees who worked there came in and went to give the dogs a treat. Odin was very rough taking the treat (something I had previously observed, and warned the person about) and she gave one to Cheyenne next. Cheyenne gets nervous with food and it fell out of her mouth. The second it did Odin went full attack mode on Cheyenne. He, as Isis seems to be, is crazy over food.

This is what i did. Everyone is fed before Odin. (Although might be a tad different because I feed everyone in the same room at the same time.) Odin must stay away from the other dogs food and remain in his place (the dogs have designated feeding areas in our kitchen.) When feeding Odin he is told to sit and he must sit without argument (he is a big barker, something that drives me nuts) once he sits I tell him to wait and I put the food down. He must remain sitting until I release him to his food. It's worked wonderfully and he's come a very long way. No longer is the the lunging food aggressive Husky.

Does she always act like this around dinner time? You may want to have them both leave the kitchen so there is no issue. Or, you can have them both in there but the moment she acts up she is taken out of the kitchen (not necessarily outside) until she calms. When she is calm, allow her back in. She will begin to see that her guarding behavior only takes her further away from the fun and family. Odin was snappy like this with me initially. Try keeping a leash on her at all times or at least times when you think you may run into this issue.

Has she been crate trained? You may want to feed her in the crate with the kibble on the liner. I have broken a lot of dogs food aggression simply by eliminating the bowl. Or placing them in the crates to calm down before meals, and reward them for their calm behavior with their dinner/breakfast.

Thanks for the help! No, she is not crate trained. Her previous owners said she was always agressive with food, since they resuced her at 10 months. It's hard not really knowing her history. Our two boys were ours at 9 weeks old...so this is all new! We've only had her since Sunday, so every night seems to be different. Koda's feeding area is the kitchen and we moved her to the other side of the kitchen. I like the idea of making her wait until he is done, but with his lack of appetite these days, that might mean no food for her!

Koda has never been crate trained...I guess I should say we tried with the boys when they were younger, but they were too vocal, so we gave up and just dealt with the destruction. I think crate training an old guy might be too hard now. Should we try to crate her?

Like I said, this whole rescue dog adoption is so new. I honestly never thought our family would be one to get an older dog that we hadn't known since practically birth. But after seeing all of the huskies that are on the adoption boards, our hearts knew we could take all we've been through to do something positive for a dog that would be overlooked because it was too old. I do like reading so many stories on here about huskies who have been adopted and have adjusted just fine with time. I think Isis has a sweet and loving side. I think she is just testing her boundaries and trying to find her place in the pack. Unfortunely, our lack of experience just sped this process up by "spoiling" her. The last day has been great getting so many tips, so hopefully we can undo our couple days of damage. I'm going to look into the Nothing in Life is Free training right now! Thanks. I think having the boys for so long, we have forgotten how much work it took to get the to be "good" family members without the constant supervision. Don't get me wrong, even at 12 they would still get in trouble!

Oh, I found this board after going to the www.siberianrescue.com site. I went to that site because I figured why not get as much breed specific information as possible.

On a happy note, the walk tonight was great! They walked side by side with no agression from either!

Oh, you've had her for just under a week? I thought it was a few weeks, sorry! Then don't worry about Koda at all with her this is a total normal "getting to know you" kind of stage. Koda will eat, trust me. As stubborn as they are, they aren't stupid! It might be best to have a nice good walk before meals to really encourage him to eat as well as have the food be a "reward" for their walk. It may even help Isis be a little more calm about eating.

What exactly does she do when she eats? Inhale the food? Guard it from you? Just Koda? The trouble with the internet is you can't see anything!

Since she is older, there always may be things that must be done when Isis is around food. It would have been a heck of a lot easier for the old home to remedy this at 10 months... but that's water under the bridge. It can definitely be made livable now at this point.

arooroomom wrote:

Oh, you've had her for just under a week? I thought it was a few weeks, sorry! Then don't worry about Koda at all with her this is a total normal "getting to know you" kind of stage. Koda will eat, trust me. As stubborn as they are, they aren't stupid! It might be best to have a nice good walk before meals to really encourage him to eat as well as have the food be a "reward" for their walk. It may even help Isis be a little more calm about eating.

HA! Me too!

Laura, that must make you feel better. We're all telling you it's going to be okay thinking that they were like this for a few WEEKS! This is TOTALLY normal after only a few days!

Let me tell you about Koda and Hailey. We had Koda for almost 2 years when we got her. We had him from 7 months on. They were both about 2 when we got her. Hailey wouldn't let Koda near her. She would growl, bare her teeth, snap at him, EVERYTHING when he came by. I was in tears that first week. They fought AT LEAST once a day that first week. And this isn't play fighting, this is fighting fighting. I was petrified at times. But we kept at it. Keeping our routine the same, integrating Hailey as best we could. Eventually those fights lessened to a couple times a week, then once a week, once every two weeks, once a month, until now I can't remember the last time they had a spat. It takes 3 months to settle in and another 3 to really be confident. Koda and Hailey are inseparable now!

Walks together before mealtime is a great suggestion. Just keep at it! They will get better! And Koda will heal. He'll start eating again. Do you leave the food down or pick it up? If you're not already, I would leave his food down for about 10 mins after you feed him. If he doesn't eat it, pick it up and put it back in the bag or container. Do this every meal time. That way, when he's hungry, he WILL eat otherwise he knows he won't get it again.

I'm coming in late on this thread, but Welcome to the forum!....and you have a ton of great advise from wonderful people so far!


I've also rescued Ginger and when she finally started coming around, I saw that she started to 'charge' her food more and more each day. Before it got out of control, I did the same:

arooroomom wrote:

....When feeding Odin he is told to sit and he must sit without argument (he is a big barker, something that drives me nuts) once he sits I tell him to wait and I put the food down. He must remain sitting until I release him to his food. It's worked wonderfully...

Ginger had to sit before I put her bowl down. She had to remain sitting until I said, 'Take it'. If she started toward her food before I said it was OK, I stepped infront of her bowl and stood firm. It was an exercise of discipline that has worked wonders. She'll now come and sit a few feet away from her feeding area, sometimes even lay down, and be nice and calm and quiet, while I make her food, until I say, 'Take it'. I can walk away, go wash dishes, and come back and she'll still be waiting nice and quiet.

Consistency, discipline and time are key, as well as keeping yourself calm.

I'm glad you found this forum...I've learned so much here, as I'm sure you will too!

cmanding wrote:

I've also rescued Ginger and when she finally started coming around, I saw that she started to 'charge' her food more and more each day. Before it got out of control, I did the same:

arooroomom wrote:

....When feeding Odin he is told to sit and he must sit without argument (he is a big barker, something that drives me nuts) once he sits I tell him to wait and I put the food down. He must remain sitting until I release him to his food. It's worked wonderfully...

This worked for me too! My puppy Willow would inhale her food and then would go after my older one, Dakota, food bowl. Now after just a few short weeks, as soon as she sees me reach for the food she goes to the same spot and sits and waits for me to feed Dakota first, then I get her food and set it down and she will watch me for my hand signal to release her to eat. AND she no longer inhales her food!

Thanks for all your advice! Tori, your story about Koda an Hailey made me feel better, so I guess in comparisson, we've had it really easy!

So, update: tomorrow will be a week with Isis. We started using Nothing in Life is
Free ideas, and it seems to really help. Koda seems to be underanding we are in control and his better. We took Isis out of the room at dinner last night when she got too excited (our dinner time, that is). She came back and was fine.

She got really excited when we were making their dinner. We kept telling her to sit everytime she got up. Then, we fed Koda and kept her in the other room. He ate (and I do mean ate ) and she sat with me while I was petting her. Next we brought her in the kitchen for her food, made he sit and stay. She looked at her food, but only tried to go for it once, and was reprimanded. So, I know we have a LONG way to go, but these were pretty big steps!! THANK FOR HELPING MAKE IT POSSIBLE!!


BTW...today was a joint visit to the vet for them and they actually laid down in the room next to each other, looking like they'd been together for awhile.. Nothing like stress to bring them together. Our vet who knows Koda said he thought they were a great match.

So, really, I can't thank you enough for helping me through our stressful week. I don't feel so stressed. They have really only had one altercation, which I guess is wonderful. They are now passing by each other, which is big.

So glad I found you guys and can't wait to see how much more I can learn!!!

SO glad to hear it, I was wondering how things were going! Glad to know everything has helped out. And where are the pictures?! Your avatar doesn't satisfy our need for Husky pics!

Yay!! I'm so happy to hear all this! I'm stoked for you that you're seeing results so quickly with NILIF It's a fantastic training method, SO easy, and the results are just so immediate and wonderful!

Your story makes me smile from ear to ear! WELCOME!

And yes... more pictures are necessary!