Yes, I'm using it mostly for clarification. They are our dogs. I'll sit on the arm chair, and every single dog in the house piles on me for cuddles. Yes, including Dexter.

This is going to sound way harsh, but I want you to know this comes from an immense care for your dogs and this breed. I know how difficult they can be and their struggles, but I also know how smart and capable they are. I don't want to see any of them struggle, and while my words may sound cruel, please know it is coming from a place of love.

Dexter is acting the way that he is because he's confused and scared. You've taken a dog who had no boundaries and exposed him to unfixed females, inconsistent training (which I know is a lot of the bfs fault), and now a new puppy who is stealing his time and attention.

You said you don't have the money to do a training board with him, but you've put him in that spot. How fair is it to Dexter that you've gotten a new puppy that cost money upfront and in vet bills, but you haven't satisfied his needs yet? Now you don't have the money to, and he's the only one suffering for it.

Dexter is never going to get better until you step up and take responsibility for him. You ignored his needs by throwing a new dog into the mix and now with the puppy being injured, keeping puppy safe has now moved up on your priority list and Dexter's needs and training are now second.

I have to ask, are you surprised that Dexter has regressed? I think the reason that people are suggesting the training board is that Dexter needs to be in a place where his training needs are put first. Where he is set up to succeed instead of constantly being thrown into new and scary situations where he is unsure how to act and chooses the wrong path each time. People tried to tell you this before, but Dexter needs a LOT of work and he needed it in a controlled environment--not a house with a new puppy who needs just as much time and attention.

I appreciate how hard you worked to turn Dexter around. It was really admirable how you were working to change him. But I'm not entirely sure you realize that the last few weeks you have done nothing but set him up to fail.

Please understand that I'm just offering my opinion on the matter. We all want what is best for our dogs but sometimes life doesn't play out that way for us. I think the idea here however is to strive to do everything we can to give our dogs the best possible chance and living conditions we can. You have a LOT on your plate and only you can decide what you can devote your time to and make the best decision for all involved. It's a huge burden and it can feel unfair.

In the same breath however it isn't fair to Dexter. He can't evolve. He is stagnant, and it is only hurting his progression more and more. I just can't sit here and say that is fair to either of you. I hope you see that.

Maybe you can work something out with Eric, maybe your boyfriend can step up more and take on all the training of his dog. Something needs to change for the sake of everyone involved.

I'm sorry for any offense this may have caused, but sometimes I feel like the harsh truth (at least from an outside perspective) is necessary to evoke change. And it sound like you realize that change is necessary.

Tori,

Nothing you said was out of line with what I told her today. Board and Train is expensive, but so is spending a lot on weekly training that can only do so much. We discussed a lot of training options today. I told them that while its not the ideal thing for me or for them, that I thought Dexter would benefit most from board and train. If not that, 3x a week of long sessions, so I can excercise him and do some positive training before working on his food related behavioral issues.

I think that for all the dogs involved, it would help to get Dexter out of the house, where he can fall into an easy role as a follower, and start learning boundaries and rules, while they start setting the same kinds of boundaries and instilling them into the two young puppies, and the older female (whom also is in need of some serious work).

Ultimately, it is expensive, and it isn't my decision what we do with these dogs. I've left multiple options with them for discussion. They know that I'm flexible and willing to work with them purely for love of the species. Despite some over zealous dog collecting, both the owners mean well, and as we develop a better relationship, they are more willing to let go of their own preconceived beliefs and try seeing things new ways.

Sorry guys, been busy this last week.

Danny got bit again this weekend, despite our best efforts to keep everything perfect scenario for Dexter.
Truth be told, I am sick and tired of changing my life to accommodate a dog I wasn't too keen on having in my house to begin with. The boyfriend moved in in October. That makes about 4 months sharing space now. In that time, I have had to change absolutely everything that I do, including modifying my property and making peace with the fact my beautiful new front yard is destroyed, and several parts of the interior of my antique house are destroyed. I asked the bf to get his dog training when they moved in, because he would need it if he was going to be living here. He agreed. 2 months later, he refused to get his dog training and claimed there was "No amount of exercise that could ever make a difference in Dexter's behavior". At that point, the dog rarely got walked at all. The bf forgets to feed the dog. He would push the dog away in annoyance when the dog came up for loves when he was busy playing video games. So I took it upon myself to get a trainer (Eric) and start exercising the dog to PROVE he could be a good dog. Little did I know that once the obvious energy problems were worked out, all the underlying problems had room to rise.
The bf is really stepping up and trying with his dog (I chewed him out royal a few weeks back). Unfortunately, his "stepping up" is most people's low energy "normal". I have paid for ALL the training thus far, and we were supposed to split it 50/50. Initially he was supposed to pay 100% of it, but I offered to cover half to make it possible to train more often. I haven't been compensated for paying any of the training yet. (Not to mention rent/bill money seems to be scarce this month)

At this point I am considering some serious options. How long do I allow this to go on in my house? How long do I keep putting my son in a bad situation? I've now spent 4 months trying to integrate this dog into my household, and its no better than it was at the beginning. I can see a definite change in the dog's obedience and daily behavior, but at some point I need to make a decision on when enough is enough. I don't want the dog in my house anymore. If that means board and train, fine. But I'm not paying for it. And the bf can't even seem to pay me rent, so he's certainly not paying for it anytime soon. That basically leaves room for the terrible duo to find another place to live.

Oh, and might I add, the bf is NOT willing to do training 3x a week with his dog. He is WAY too exhausted to even think about doing that. He doesn't even pay attention to his dog when he's in the house. I have to babysit everyone every second of the day.

No one is saying that your situation isn't difficult. It's a very difficult one. That's why everyone is shocked that you chose to make it MORE difficult by bringing in a puppy.

None of this makes Dexter's life any easier, though. He is a dog that deserves love and a chance just like any other. If you and the boyfriend can't give that to him, then perhaps Dexter will have a better life elsewhere. However, it always sucks to see a dog rehomed after a new puppy is brought home. Maybe you would have rehomed him anyway, maybe not.... but Dexter is suffering and clearly so is your family.

I'm not surprised Dexter lashed out again. A very big change needs to happen, or his behavior is going to continue. Only you can decide what that change will be.

I hope you can get it resolved soon for everyone involved.

I don't mean to stop on your toes at all, because I've never been in a situation like this. But if this were me, I'd have to wonder how much he really cares if he obviously isn't bothered enough by Dexter's behavior when they directly affect him, let alone your son. It would worry me I think that he doesn't care enough to make changes to keep your son safe.

As bad as this sounds, it almost seems as if it really isn't your problem with Dexter, but your problem with your boyfriend. You said yourself things have improved, but not the point that they could have had he stepped up and done what was best for everyone involved. And it's good that he is stepping up to an extent, but if that still means that Dexter isn't getting the time he needs and deserves, then how much good is it really doing?

Don't mean for any of that to be rude, I just feel like this isn't a good situation for anyone involved really.

Koda wrote:

No one is saying that your situation isn't difficult. It's a very difficult one. That's why everyone is shocked that you chose to make it MORE difficult by bringing in a puppy.

None of this makes Dexter's life any easier, though. He is a dog that deserves love and a chance just like any other. If you and the boyfriend can't give that to him, then perhaps Dexter will have a better life elsewhere. However, it always sucks to see a dog rehomed after a new puppy is brought home. Maybe you would have rehomed him anyway, maybe not.... but Dexter is suffering and clearly so is your family.

I'm not surprised Dexter lashed out again. A very big change needs to happen, or his behavior is going to continue. Only you can decide what that change will be.

I hope you can get it resolved soon for everyone involved.

I wanted to rehome Dexter. To help me accept him into my family, I decided to get a husky to A. Keep Dex company and B. Have a husky of my own so we could do things together with our dogs. My little dogs are inside only, and neither can keep up with or play with Dexter. They are VERY low maintenance. The stress is coming from having to watch Dex like a hawk to make sure he doesn't hurt them.

My point is where I have to draw the line for MY family. I considered rehoming Ahsoka or my two dogs, but where does that leave me? Again, making all the sacrifices.
If my son's dad saw our son be bit by Dexter, or even growled or snapped at like he does, I would LOSE MY SON. If Danny tells his dad he's been getting bit, the same thing. Not to mention Dex possibly getting put down.

I think at this point it would be best for Dexter to find a new home, just understand that in itself is going be difficult. He has bitten in the past and many people are unwilling or unable to take on a dog like that. I would start contact rescues local to you and get things moving in that direction. Perhaps that will light a fire under your boyfriend, perhaps not. Either way- Dexter needs rehab and a lot of attention and work at this point. If you or your boyfriend aren't willing to put into that work I feel that finding him someone that WILL is his best and only option at this point.

Not entirely sure who I'd rather rehome right now, the dog, or the boyfriend AND the dog.

I don't mean to be rude, but what happens if Ahsoka develops behavior like this in the future? It is a very real possibility. How would you handle it?

I surely hope Dexter finds a home with the time and patience to train him. Perhaps he needs a one dog home only.

To me it sounds like your boyfriend needs to go. You haven't really said anything positive about your boyfriend ever since you joined this forum. To ME, he is mooching off you. My boyfriend and I recently moved in with each other, and I told him the first time he doesn't pay a bill or help with rent, his you know what is gone. If MY boyfriend wasn't helping take care of the girls, or helping pay for stuff, he'd be gone. He is obviously just adding more stress to your life, and you just don't need to take his crap anymore honestly. You're 26 years old..you don't need to be at the stress level of a 40 year old. Kick him out and take your home and life back.

GIRL POWER!

While I feel like you have suffered throughout this whole ordeal, just remember who is really getting the sh*t end of the stick.. Dexter. It wasn't ever his fault he acted the way he did. Ultimatly it was your boyfriends fault 100%. Our dogs depend on us to show them how they are supposed to act in OUR human world. I think a lot of people forget that. We humans shape our dogs' behavior. He was allowed to get away with anything and everything, so being a devil was all he knew. This isn't the situation Dexter needs to be in. Honestly, it's probably made all the progress you had previously made wash away. Make sure you don't let your boyfriend take him and "place" him. If he isn't put into a rescue, that dog will put down before you even knew it.

My heart aches for Dexter the most. He was let down by the one person who was supposed to be his guardian..it's not his fault.

Kelsey, I know. That's why I have paid for training and done everything I could to try to retrain Dexter. He's a good dog deep down, but the bf f*cked it up. I have known this from the beginning. I just can't allow my son to be hurt anymore. He had already rubbed bad behaviors off on my oldest dog Lady with his constant harassment of her. She is slowly becoming more aggressive by the week.

If the bf moves out, he will either keep the dog or allow me and Eric to find a place for it. If he moves out, I can't see him getting rid of his dog. He "loves" it too much.

Here is what my thoughts are on the matter:

Aaron ought to reimburse you for every dime that you have paid into training, because his lack of willingness and care has made working with Dexter almost a lost cause. Dexter needs a MINIMUM of three sessions a week, for a couple hours a session, along with daily practice excercises, and a MINIMUM 1 hr structured walk every day, to start being succesful and learning solid boundaries that he can be confident he understands. Ideally, he needs to be removed from the home for 5 weeks, and trained under 24/7 professional supervision. In that 5 weeks, all the members of the household need to be trained to properly handle a dog, and at least start learning the basics to dog behavior.

If Aaron doesn't want to do that at this point, Dexter needs to leave, with or without Aaron following suite. I love dogs, but your child comes first, and if the dog is biting, and neither of you can afford, or want to pay for, or could be without dexter for as long as a board and train program takes, then he's going to keep biting, and the child is going to get hurt, and that's a much bigger problem to deal with.

Whatever you decide to do, it isn't fair to the dogs to wait forever to make decisions. I'm. Going to try to help, no matter what we end up doing, but for all the dogs sake, you need to start putting your foot down and explaining how things are going to be to Aaron soon.

Poor Dexter. It really sounds like it has become a them (Dexter/BF) vs us situation. You're resenting your BF for not helping out which is magnifying your frustrations at Dexter and poor Dexter, who's really not at fault for his upbringing is bearing the brunt of it all.

A decision has to be made for the good of Dexter as well as the safety of your son, if you can't control his resource guarding, and give him the time he needs then you have to start questioning his long term future.

I also don't understand why you've gotten another husky, they aren't for everyone, and you already have one with issues. Huskies are renound for digging and garden landscaping - what are you going to do when it displays those kinds of behaviours. From what you've said Dexter should go to a single dog home where he will get the attention he needs and not be around friction - and he does deserve that. But regardless, you have her now, so try and do things right and start training as early as possible.

We have two pups at 6months and we have had to change our lifestyles as well, but that's part an parcel of having them and we love them regardless, there's no point getting frustrated at Dexter for something that was taken out of his control a long time ago.

Just my two cents.

I don't think you guys are getting what I'm saying. I am not pissed off at Dexter, I do not blame him.
I have to put my foot down and do what's necessary for my young child. I am getting a LOT of mixed signals from people here - they insinuate I should be treating Dexter like a human and giving him all the same rights, and then turning around and saying that dogs are not people and never will be.

Long story short, my son must come before any dog, or any guy. And so far I have been putting my boyfriend over everyone, including myself and my son.

YOU need to start the process of rehoming Dexter by contacting rescues.

Okay, personal opinions and squabbles aside, I 100% support Dexter going to another home. He needs to be with people who can take the time and effort to set him up for success.
YOU should not rehome him, though. Surrender him to a rescue who will have a behaviorist work with them until he is ready to be placed. This isn't a dog that just needs a "husky experienced home." You can't rehome a dog with history of biting on more than one occasion, that is a disaster waiting to happen. He needs special care and the only way he will get someone fully commited to that is to surrender him to a husky rescue or find a behaviorist/trainer that is very experienced in correcting issues like what he has that is willing to take him under their wing and rehome them after (or keep, obviously).
I have no comments on your choice of men, lol, but there is no way in hell that man should be left with Dexter. Dogs like that, left with people like that, end up in very sad and very bad situations.

She has the puppy, no reason to even bring that part of the situation up- it's done- and I think several members here were out of their wits when they first got their husky, so it isn't like the reality check with how crazy they can be is uncommon with new husky owners. The only thing I will say is to make sure you want to keep her with the possibility of her needing a crazy amount of attention/digigng/etc, because while no, NOT every husky has these characteristics, it's very likely and you need to be prepared to put time and effort into her if she becomes one of the more rambunctious ones as she gets older. If you are committed to her training and handling the issues as they arise with the puppy, more power to you. If you aren't sure, consider seeing if you can find her a new home.

goaliechick41 wrote:

I have to put my foot down and do what's necessary for my young child. I am getting a LOT of mixed signals from people here - they insinuate I should be treating Dexter like a human and giving him all the same rights, and then turning around and saying that dogs are not people and never will be.

What people are saying is that you need to make a decision so that Dexter can get better. Yes, your family and your son need to come first, but you're not putting anyone first right now---except maybe your boyfriend.

Dexter deserves time and attention-- his needs need to be met if he is going to get better and your son is to stay safe. What people are saying is that if Dexter's needs can't be 100% met (and with your son in the picture, it doesn't sound like Dexter can be given that priority), then you need to find Dexter a place that he can thrive. You can't continue in the same pattern and expect different results. He's getting worse because nothing is changing. Your son is in danger because Dexter's needs aren't being met.

And I think people are mentioning husky #2 because that has what has escalated Dexter's problems. Bringing the new puppy in has made things worse-- and now you're at an impasse. By getting Ashoka, you've forced yourself into having to make an immediate, hard decision because your circumstances don't allow you to handle both.

We've all had moments where we've been over our heads, yes. However, none of us got out of that situation by continuing on the same path that we were on before. That's the same advice we would give ANYONE in your situation.

Again, Karissa... I truly am sorry it has come to this. I know how hard you worked with Dexter and you clearly have a very large heart. But no amount of will power is going to change the situation that you are in-- there needs to be a physical change in environment for Dexter to get better and for your son to be safe or the end result is going to be devastating.

I don't care if I lose the client..

Karissa's boyfriend is acting like a real douche about this whole thing. He doesn't see any problem with his dogs behavior. He doesn't pay any attention to the training. Coming from a guy who vaporizes hash oil with great frequency, he is the typical video game stoner. I've had to tell him every single session how important it is to walk his dog daily. He tells Karissa no amount of walking could help. He was letting the dog mark. He never neutered his dog. He's even justified Dex biting Danny. His dogs a lost cause. If he stays with Karissa, it means I'm stuck with Dex for a surrender fee that won't even cover the neuter, for god knows how long, while he learns new rules for a 30th time, so I can get him to a person who can offer him the structure and support he needs. If he leaves the house with his dog, it means his dog probably bites a stranger later, and then what?

Grr.. Sometimes working with other peoples dogs can be the most frustrating thing in the entire world. Fishing the Bering Sea did not break me down as many times, nor as hard as working around problem dogs and the owners who create them.

Was a good read.

Ok, so one last ditch effort in saving the situation...we are fixing him, and if that doesn't help enough, we will be surrendering him to either Eric or a qualified rescue that can work with him.
Dexter is now living in my detached shop/garage until we can get him in to be fixed/heal/assess the situation post ball chopping.

goaliechick41 wrote:

Ok, so one last ditch effort in saving the situation...we are fixing him, and if that doesn't help enough, we will be surrendering him to either Eric or a qualified rescue that can work with him.

...yay?

Sorry Eric. Just hope his balls coming off fixes everything. Pray to your deity!

We all know badass Jew version of G*d is all about chopping at men's genitals, so I'm sure he blesses this idea.