A friend of mine posted this on facebook and i found it hilarious and needed to share, hope you all enjoy
love this:
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.. FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however.. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered.. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't smoke or drink,
(7) don't want to wear your clothes,
( don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ..

Love it! Completely true lol

Omg that is awsome lol!!! I love the.. "If they get preg. Sell their kids lol"

awww, haha

Love the "Non-pet owners who visit... Rule (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.".... This is so true with owning Huskies

Awh that is so cute <3

Haha, I love this. The last one is hillarious.

I would have to amend that to "If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay outside."
Once you walk through that front door, lint rollers are a lost cause. Get out the duct tape.

Haha I love the part about " They live here not you" Omg I just want to tell that to some of my family.

This made me smile.

One of my roomies friends always brings her 2 yr old baby over, and then bitches that the dogs are always trying to see what it is. Last month when she did it, I reminded her that in all reality, the inconvenience was in us, who live there, having to air out the house, kennel all the dogs, hide our marijuana and related items(its legal here, but not child appropriate), smoke out on the patio, and baby proof the living room, just because she wants to visit, and is too lazy to clean her own house up enough to have company, or get a sitter.

I don't like her though. Last year she surrendered a 2 yr old unfixed, completely untrained, never walked, ssuper hyper pitbull to us, because she jumped into getting a dog before her life was settled and then life changed dramatically for her, and the first thing to let go was her dog. She told us she needed a foster for 1 month. 6 months later, I asked her about taking her dog back, whom was causing problems for the other dogs, and she rudely told me she couldn't handle it, and to dump it at a shelter if it was a problem. It took another 3 months to find that dog a proper home.

Hahah. That is so true.

The parrot likes to stake claim on my food even when it's in my mouth. *shakes head*

The cat will come in the bathroom with me in the morning and lay in the sink. It'll take forever to kick him out but lord forbid if I close the door he wants out immediately. Cats...

I love this, havnt laughed so hard in a long time. Thank you.

Bahaha, if they get pregnant you can sell their children hahahaha, I'll be laughing at that for ever.