Like the title says...just the thought of losing Dakota is breaking my heart. Dakota knocked me over this morning accidentally while playing and sprained my ankle. Hubby says the baby is our number one priority and we cannot have Dakota putting me or the baby at risk. He won't pitch in to help me burn off our sibes energy and we both know that come winter Dakota is so much more energetic and a greater potential problem as far as accidental injuries go. I cannot fathom giving up Dakota but hubby says something MUST change or he will take matters into his own hands and get rid of the dog himself. I can't stop crying...I can't lose my heart dog.

OH WOW VAL! I don't even know where to start. Maybe he's just upset right now and it will pass? Why won't he help you exercise Dakota? My hubby would help me if he could, but due to his knee replacement surgery there's only so much that he can do. Your hubby doesn't like Dakota? I'm sorry for all of the questions, but I'm trying to understand why he would just jump the gun and say that you should get rid of him. Dakota is part of your family. Plus, I think I remember you saying that he's awesome with babies? I completely agree that your main priority is to take care of yourself and the baby, but giving him away wouldn't be the solution in my opinion.


I know that every situation is different and that every marriage is different, but I'm sorry, I don't care what my hubby says. My dogs WOULD NOT go anywhere.

I really think that he's just upset right now and he'll calm down about it. You just have to be extra extra careful while Dakota is running around playing.

I'm sorry that you're going through this Val. I would be a total wreck!

Oh no! That's terrible. But come on, how often does he do something like that in all the time you've had him? Are you going to stay away from all stairs until you have the baby in fear of falling? Going to sit in the house with pillows around you all day so you don't get hurt?! I think you need to sit down with him and talk some sense into him. Dakota is part of the family too. And if you really can't convince him, maybe you can find a temporary home that will keep him until the baby has come. Oh and you should throw in there that you'd be very depressed if Dakota was gone and that wouldn't be good for the baby.

Really hope you can get things straightened out. It's a tough situation. Good luck and congrats again on the new little one!

OMG Val! Just reading this brought tears to my eyes. I did not have Frankie when I was preggo, but now that he is in my life I could not even think about rehoming him. I'm not going to knock your hubby, I am sure his heart is in the right place out of concern for you and the baby. But like with a baby, both parents need to chip in especially when one needs to rest a little more.

If he won't help Dakota burn some energy, are there other options? Doggie day care a few days a week, having a dog walker come over and maybe take him for long walks or runs?

The stress over losing Dakota WILL NOT be good for you or the baby!!!!!!!! There has to be another way. I wish I was closer and I would come and run him with Frankie. I am so sorry Val

Melissa, he didn't want a sibe in the first place so as far as he's concerned it's not his dog, not his problem considering he didn't want a husky. He'll take the dogs out in the yard to potty but he won't walk them or exercise them in the yard. That's partially because of the sheer number of hours he works (70 hrs/wk) and how much he travels on business which is often 2 wks out of the month.

You do have a good point Sara, I can't be shielded from everything. Although I did almost fall down the stairs this afternoon be cause of my sprained ankle, the pain is excruciating actually. I really sympathize with Heather's broken ankle so much more now!

Dee, how I wish a dog walker or day care would be an option but the only way hubby would say yes to that is if it were free. Lol With me being a housewife and home all day there's just no way he'd consider it...even now...especially since he's in "save" mode knowing we have a new family member on the way that won't be cheap.

I really hope this is mostly his anger talking right now but I fear what will happen if something else happens because of the dog. Dakota is notorious for injuring me in so many ways, always on accident of course and it does get worse in cooler weather when he's got so much more energy...which we'll be facing in just a couple months. One of Dakota's favorite things to do is zoomies in the yard and then slam himself into me at full speed. He just CANNOT continue to do that now.

I will do everything in my power to ensure that Dakota stays with us, he is my heart dog after all. I would never give him up of my own accord and certainly not without a fight.

do you have a dog park near you to bring him to so he can get some of that energy out?

Oh, Val. I feel for you.

My reaction as male, husband and father is that it's time for hubby to "Man Up".
When my wife got pregnant, I thought the baby was just going to be an addition to my life. I could still "have" my life, but there was going to be extra stuff.

Totally wrong!

When children come, you give up your life. You have to sublimate your self to the family. Then little by little as the child grows, you get your life back.

Your physical health is important, but your mental health during this time is just as important. Losing Dakota would be horrible to your well-being. He has got to find a way to help you.

I would suggest that he speak to your obstetrician.

I hope you can talk some sense into him and that it's just anger talking. The roller coaster of emotions that you'll go through if you give up Dakota can't be good for you or the baby.

I'm praying that he gets over it soon

Tell him the chi's are not your dogs so then he can take care of them and follow him on his (ego) trips, if you are force to part with Dakota. He's using your pregnancy as an excuse for getting rid of the dog you selected. What comes next ...........?






This is a very tough issue for me to cover w/o bias as I was once in a situation like this but at least I wasn't pregnant (whew). I regretted what I thought was the right thing to do at that time, but was fortunate enough to have a best friend be the one that took Jessie from me. I visited often especially after bad days at work and on weekends I'd pick him up for a trip down to deer camp just to escape. I paid for everything he needed for the last 3-4 years of his up keep. But still the emotional aspect of it all still haunts me today.

I'm so sorry Val. I don't even know what to say. I understand his concern, but if he is concerned he needs to help you out. It isn't too much to ask to take Dakota on a walk or go with you both to the park. He may not be Dakota's biggest fan, but he does know you love Dakota and he should want to help you out with him in order to keep you safe. Everyone is right, emotional damage is just as harmful during a pregnancy and the stress and depression he is bringing on you with this is NOT good for your baby. I understand he works, I do- but that is no excuse, he is having a baby on the way and he can't say he has no time to help you with the baby due to work. I hope he is just angry and it blows over. Until he's had time to calm himself, just avoid the topic. I'll be praying for things to work out the way you want them to.

Sorry to hear about your ankle too welcome to the club!

Here4thePics wrote:

Tell him the chi's are not your dogs so then he can take care of them and follow him on his (ego) trips, if you are force to part with Dakota. He's using your pregnancy as an excuse for getting rid of the dog you selected. What comes next ...........?

^Ditto.

You take exceptional care of "his" dogs, we hear all about their care and nutrition and how much you care for them! It's time for hubby to put his big boy pants on and compromise on a solution that doesn't involve getting rid of a family member.

It may be his emotion talking and he may need to calm down, but it was still not cool to bring it up. Plus, if he can't even walk a dog, I hope he's going to pitch in once the baby gets here.

Ok - off my soapbox now. Let's focus on a solution! It sounds like maybe you are interested in a solution, in addition to some sympathetic ears? (and if not, ignore the rest of this post ) Perhaps we can all brainstorm here and help you find a solution? We're team husky, right?

Since you're not that far along yet and feeling relatively healthy, would you be interested in some part-time employment to pay for doggie day care or a dog walker? You know so much about nutrition, maybe there's a high end pet store or doggie day care that needs a few shifts? Maybe you can even take the pups with you? Or something that you can do from home a few hours a week - like write articles on pets! Here are some jobs on oDesk (a freelance website) where you can pick up multiple freelance jobs a day (this is a legit website, we use their services at work) : https://www.odesk.com/jobs/pet/?_redirected=
If a part-time gig is something you're considering, I'm happy to help search or go over some freelance info! PM me

Jennet, no dog parks relatively close to me that I know of...not out of the realm of possibility. I might have to do some investigation on that.

Michael, I think you are absolutely right and I will suggest that he start helping exercise the dogs more after he calms down some more. When he is available it wouldn't kill him to throw the ball around the backyard a bit for a few minutes a day. I know this will be a big adjustment for the both of us...moreso than either of us really comprehends at the moment. To my husbands credit he has already mentioned that he'll be picking up the slack on housework and cleaning which I found astonishing. Oh and he is coming to my OB appt this week which I am thrilled about.

Lol Len, I almost told him that if he gives up my sibe that his Chihuahuas are going too...but I was too upset to say it.

I'm sorry you've sort of been down this road before. I truly cannot imagine the pain that would come if I had to give up my dog. To me it's truly unthinkable right now. The fact that my hubby had all those things to say this morning was a total shock. I really cannot imagine life without Dakota...I just can't.

I agree with you folks that the emotional stress of losing Dakota, who IS a member of my family, cannot be good for my health or that of baby's. There's just got to be another way to make this work with him staying and me being safe from his accidental roughness.

Hubby did say that he would be okay with sending Dakota off to live with someone else until the baby is born. I wouldn't be opposed to that either but there's no one close to me that I trust with him that has experience with huskies.

Hollywood, thanks. I am most definitely looking for ideas for a solution. I would be open to temporary part time stuff but would have to work around my travel schedule as well as,hubby's business travel as well. I'll let you know if it's something I would be interested in pursuing.

Heather, you're right. I should see this as an opportunity for him to step up and practice taking on more responsibility before baby comes along...because you're right I know I will need even more of his help after baby is born regardless of how much he's working. I can't imagine how single mothers manage on their own.

Have you thought about a treadmill? You might be able to find one relatively cheap from Craigslist or classifieds or even a friend. It would not only help Dakota but also you and your hubby. Just an idea.

I am SO sorry, Val! I also share everyone's feelings and opinions. I really hope that hubby made that statement out of pure concern to your and baby's health and well being without thought given as to how that would make you feel. I also hope and pray that he'll come around and take it back....

If only we lived closer....

Len, I'm sorry that this hits close to home for you...what an extremely difficult decision that must have been for you....

finger and paws crosed for you Val, that hubby comes around and changes his mind...

I'm just gonna say WOW! And I hope he calms down, better I don't go off on a rant...

Huskyluv wrote:

Heather, you're right. I should see this as an opportunity for him to step up and practice taking on more responsibility before baby comes along...because you're right I know I will need even more of his help after baby is born regardless of how much he's working. I can't imagine how single mothers manage on their own.

DEFINITELY Val! I'd flat out say- you know, I know Dakota is a lot of work, but NOT as much work as a baby and it concerns me you won't help with him when I am pregnant and need it. How am I suppose to feel that you will give me help when the baby comes if you won't throw the ball or walk the dog once a day because of work?

Val i'm so sorry! When I saw the title... and saw that you were the OP... Made me so sad

I am 100% on the Hubby needs to step it up train! A while back I got really sick (blood transfusions and talk about liver transplants and even possible death) Obviously I couldn't work with the dogs as much as before as I was basically bed ridden for 3 months. There was talk about what to do with the dogs but everyone chipped in and pulled up the slack. He needs to understand that exercising and helping out with Dakota is far far far down on the list of difficult and PITA things that he will have to do now that there's a baby in the picture.

I would start practicing personal space exercises with Dakota. My dogs know to not jump up on me or slam into me when i'm standing up straight. If i'm on the ground with them- all bets are off. But after the issue with my liver and spleen I couldn't have the dogs jumping on me punching me in the gut. I know Dakota is close to your heart and i'm sure this is mostly anger and fear talking from your Hubby... but not always will the solution be as "easy" as rehome the dog.

Aww Val.... I'm so sorry...... I went through a similar patch with my husband only it was with one of my cats. He wanted to get rid of my bootsie because he started peeing in the house, on our clothes, towels, blankets, anything that was on the floor. I stood my ground and told him absoultely NOT. He's my baby and he's not going anywhere, and if the cat goes, so does the husband! Well guess who ended up taking bootsie to the vet while I was at work, got some pills from the vet, and solved the problem. Yep.. wasn't me! YOUR hubby needs to step up and help you, 70 hour work week or not. Marriage is a joint venture and when your partner needs your help, you help them!

This stress this idea of his is causing is absolutely not good for you and the baby right now. I understand his reaction and being worried about the baby but he needs to remember that Dakota is your baby too. If I lived close by I'd absolutely volunteer to come take Kota for walks when I take Meka!

I hope he calms down and you can come to a better solution then sending Kota away

Huskyluv wrote:

Hubby did say that he would be okay with sending Dakota off to live with someone else until the baby is born..

Be opposed once Dakota is out ............good luck getting him back in.

Here4thePics wrote:

Huskyluv wrote:

Hubby did say that he would be okay with sending Dakota off to live with someone else until the baby is born..

Be opposed once Dakota is out ............good luck getting him back in.

Especially with a new baby in the house

jalepeno wrote:

Oh, Val. I feel for you.

My reaction as male, husband and father is that it's time for hubby to "Man Up".
When my wife got pregnant, I thought the baby was just going to be an addition to my life. I could still "have" my life, but there was going to be extra stuff.

Totally wrong!

When children come, you give up your life. You have to sublimate your self to the family. Then little by little as the child grows, you get your life back.

Your physical health is important, but your mental health during this time is just as important. Losing Dakota would be horrible to your well-being. He has got to find a way to help you.

I would suggest that he speak to your obstetrician.

I could not agree more!! I think these sentiments hold even more weight since they are spoken by the Dad!

Thoughts and prayers coming your way, Val. Hope you and hubby can work this out for the good of all involved.

I love the treadmill idea! Great idea, Ashley! And you can use it after the birth!

Whatever happens, just ask for some time. Do not make a decision right now - everyone is very emotional.

Hopefully some of these solutions help. I remember in another post someone was saying that their mother or mother in law was asking when they were getting rid of the dogs now that they were pregnant...some people have very specific ideas about pregnant women and families with babies - so wondering if that is part it. Maybe talking it over will help. Good luck!!!

arooroomom wrote:

I would start practicing personal space exercises with Dakota. My dogs know to not jump up on me or slam into me when i'm standing up straight. If i'm on the ground with them- all bets are off. But after the issue with my liver and spleen I couldn't have the dogs jumping on me punching me in the gut. I know Dakota is close to your heart and i'm sure this is mostly anger and fear talking from your Hubby... but not always will the solution be as "easy" as rehome the dog.

+1!!!

Also with him being MIA while you're pregnant, I think it would be a huge change to come back and see a nursery and baby stuff around. He needs to be exposed to these changes too and start being taught his new rules for when the baby comes.