Sigh. Z'ev is getting there. Now needs daily carprofen buy I'm only giving him a half dose once a day for now. Without it, he has a difficult time sitting. And kisses down in stages, sort of inching his way down. Most recently, I did a 2 day trial without anything (except the dasuquin) as he was not eating his breakfast right away. But those were days I slept late and he gets frantic in the crate when that happens, I assumed it was that but wanted to make sure the carprofen was bothering his stomach. It's also been blisteringly hot and humid so the dogs are rugs anyway. But. During the off need time, he seems to have difficulty with stairs as well. He's stumbled a few times going down. And slipping on the vinyl flooring in the laundry room. He's 12 in now so, anyway you cut it, he's in his last quarter of life. But he still loves he's treats and he has his own version of"me too." Anytime one of us pets Ami, Zev is right there. With me, he usually contra up behind me and stocks his head between my legs as in "Maaaa..."

Talked to my vet today and she's and her son are both going to be out of town from Wednesday till Tuesday of next week. I'm not ready for tomorrow but I'm not sure how much more she'll fail by next week. Sometimes she does great, and at other times it's obvious she's having trouble just getting around. Last night she couldn't lie down without some serious whining.

Just looked over and she's not in her crate, sprawled on the living room floor and her crate's her home....

c'est fini ... more later.

Al - my sister's dreaming with a similar quandary. She has a little 8 pound mixed breed. In his teens. Developed heart failure in the past year, then Cushing's. She's been managing him medically. He has his ups and downs. Some days she thinks it's time to say goodbye, others, he's a spunky little monkey for 10 minutes or so than content to recuperate in her lap.

Hey biggest concern, after risking with her very, is that natural death from heart failure is brutal. A heart failure crisis will leave him gasping for breath, essential drowning with attendant severe anxiety. Maybe minutes, maybe hours. And there are times when she is not home, caring for her granddaughter. Who has severe allergies and can't have the dog in the house. Her fear is he had a crisis whole she's not home. Or. Her vet is not readily available. Emergency vets are stretched in her area and traffic can be a bear at times. Yet she doesn't want to call it to soon.

Sigh. I have no answers. But know my questions will be coming in the not distant future.

While thankfully no one here has said "It's past time" or "You should wait" ... everyone has been supportive in letting me make this decision and this morning I said enough.

I could have waited but I'm the one who watched her decline. When she couldn't easily get up from bed; when she couldn't set or lie down without saying she was in pain; when she fell over trying to take a dump; when she spent as much or more time setting (unable to get up) when we went for a short walk, it was simply a matter of saying that it's not right for her to suffer so I have a companion.

Sasha had her good days and her bad days; as time progressed they seemed to be more good days and sleeping days.  For your sister, my advice would be to don't wait for her dog to tell her that she's ready - Sasha never did, she was just happy to be here with all of us.  When the conditions become "bad enough" it's time - in my mind - to give them dignity of an easy sleep.

It's funny that as I was driving home, I felt her with her head on the console watching me ... like she always did when we went somewhere ... in many ways, remembering all the good and bad times I've had with her will keep her here.

Al, my condolences. So tough to make the call and losing a loved dog so painful. You have such a history with Sasha. I'm sure many would have thrown in the towel long before this. Hugs, my friend. And give those other two a good scratch.

Thanks Amy, ... those other two, I don't think this house has been this quiet in years.  I let Avalanche see Sasha as I took her out of the Jeep - but I think his reaction was simply "Oh, that's Sasha, I know her!"  I've seen him look over at her crate a time or three so he, at least, knows something isn't right.

I have a note to complete and then post, but I'm going to have to be in a better frame of mind than I am right now.  That's for later ...  He's been in Sky's crate off and on during the day while Sky's been crashed on the couch, looks like there might be a reshuffling of "Homes" (which crate who gets) over the next few days.

Again, my thanks.  Yeh it's been up and down with her and there were a few times early on where I wondered what to do with her but there's that line about a rescue always having a furever home and this was hers.

While I don't expect that it would come up, I'm going to short circuit a possible discussion.  Yes, there was medication available (adequan?) that would have helped with the pain she was feeling but the expense would have been exorbitant and would have done nothing to alleviate the muscle wasting that made it difficult for her to get around.  

Oddly, possibly, I love her like almost no other dog I've had in many years and thinking of her hurts unbearably.

Al,

I am so sorry for your loss, its a painful thing to go through, and i dread the day i have to again.
keep those happy memories with you.
Hugs

Gillian wrote:

I've enjoyed reading about your adventures with your animals, Al. Did you ever think of writing a book?

Memories of Sasha is about as much of a book as you're going to see.  Four pages in Word so it may be a bit of a read ... sorry, but not.

How are you and the other pups making the transition without her? When we let Keno go Kenzi seemed to pick up with life fairly fast but Kye really surprised us. Not sure if he actually missed keno (they didn't get along that well) or if he started being scared we would get rid of him like we did keno if he didn't suck up to us. He got strangely lovey.

How about a real simple - not too well at all.
Tomorrow will be a week - just a week? - and I'm guilt tripping myself all over the place. The dogs remain really quiet - well behaved but super quiet.

Doing sorta better - which is arguable.  A friend called me yesterday and got hung up on.  She knew how Sasha was doing but couldn't get over the "tell me what happened!" That took all of about 4 minutes when I said "Goodbye..."

And on a lighter note, Avalanche's alarm clock doesn't work.  Yesterday he was waiting for chow at 17:30 and today it's 18:30 and I think he's asking for dinner.   If not he just wants out, so I'm gone to act as doorman.

ETA: I think the cats might be expressing an opinion, they seem to find the dirt over the grave to be the purrfect place to relieve themselves. I wonder if they're saying "Piss on you Sasha!" or maybe it's just that the dirt isn't packed as tight.

... and speaking of cats, I've only seen two today ... wonder where the other one is???

Ya know what I really miss?  In the morning my "breakfast" tends to be peanut butter and toast (and coffee of course.)  When Sasha heard the bread wrapper, she was in the kitchen and then my shadow until I was down to the last bite - and that was hers!

Silly things like her sticking her head in my lap - "Daddy, don't you know I want some petting?"

Sky isn't impressed with peanut butter - sorry 'bout that - and Avalanche, who will lick the inside of a peanut butter jar clean just isn't interested in the toast ... silly dogs!!  I had to convince Sky not to "come up" when I was at the computer - during the summer I normally don't put long pants on till I have to go out and she's left some deep gouges!  Now she won't come over to get petted.  I'm doing something wrong there!

I've been way down in the bouts of depression and am working at making myself get up and do something - anything!  I haven't killed my plants yet, I am getting out to water them --- now if I could just figure out how to get the leaf cutting bees to go away!!

If you haven't looked, the last two recall notices might be worth looking at!

Toast, peanut butter and coffee: my breakfast probably 5 out of 7 days. When my Sasha died, the thing I remember most was I kept "seeing"  her. I'd walk does the street, and any doc vaguely resembling her sorry of became a fleeting mirage of her. Or around the corner in the house. That went on for about a year. Your Sasha lived a long life and the part with you was a good life.

I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time... Though, no way around it, losing a dog is a hard, painful thing. Sigh over which we all are going to experience sooner or later. Hugs.

It's getting better - er, I'm getting better. I think the two - three days of filling in her grave helped a lot ( it was a big hole - had a friend with a back hoe dig it - and it took a lot of filling in, talking to her all the time. ) (( coyotes will dig up most anything that isn't three feet or more down, so it really was a big, 3 - 4 feet deep hole! ))

Like you and your Sasha, I know I'll see her - feel her presence - around for a long time. The stories about breakfast and a shadow aren't so hard to write or read as they were last week. I'm not guilt-tripping myself anywhere near what I was - it was time and any longer delays would have been at her expense and I couldn't do that - as much as I didn't want to.

The last I saw of my Misty was her tail end going around the trailer - sometimes I'll look up and see her tail wagging at me, but it's okay.

The guys still haven't figured out what to do with her crate. Both Avalanche and Sky are in Sky's crate - mostly at different times. I expected Sky to adopt Sasha's crate and I'll leave it up for a while longer to give her the chance.

It took a while but when my two got used to not having keno around it has been interesting to see kye transform. I don't guess I ever thought that keno might disrupt him. Kye has always come across as a bit rude and lacking in social skills, but he has learned how to pick things off the floor that I point at from a distance now rather than me having to actually reach out and touch it. That was something keno would clean up so fast Kye never stood a chance to learn. My husband took it harder than I did, but he didn't do all the medication and vet dances that I did, or the 6,000 potty breaks out the front door, so he didn't get to feel the flip side of the situation where relief and much needed rest were. Kenzi's hips bother her. She's had arthritis in them since she was 5 or 6. She is getting whiny when she gets up but not on pain meds yet. She gets a nupro supplement and B12. Pain meds can mess with the diabetes so not sure how I will approach that when the day comes.

Life - just get's more interesting by the day!  Remember the kitty that I said might be a little bit pregnant?  I think she was because so far she's presented my with three little kittens - and I don't think she's done yet.

She's birthing them under the recliner that's right behind me - er, after dropping the first one on the floor beside the recliner.  Just checked and have two nursing and one who isn't too sure about being born - give him/her time, she'll figure it out.  I made up a laundry basket with towels and she's having none of that!

Put the dogs out, I'm not concerned about Avalanche - he's the one who pointed me to the new addition on the floor  "Hey, dad!! What's this??" He didn't bother it, just stood looking at it and sniffed it a time or two;  Sky, I'm not too sure about but I put both of them out on the front porch "for the duration."

ETA:  Make that four .... five, she can stop now!

Congratulations, Grandpa!

Five?!!? That would be more than enough excitement for me

Well, that didn't work right.  She was nursing them when I went to bed last night.  I'd tried to move them into the basket but after I moved two, she moved them right back to where she'd birthed them - okay, you know what you want.

Woke up this morning to three dead kittens in the middle of the living room.  Sky was in her crate, I'm not concerned about Avalanche, I watched the male come in and head for the spot where the kittens were - I think I found my culprit, damnit!

The female cat's wandering around running between me and the back of the recliner - sorry little one. I have a kitty crate, I should have put them and her in it but I didn't want to lock her down without food - hindsight is 20/20 right?

I still have both the male and female, so we'll have another litter in a couple of months (or so, I don't know for sure) In the meantime I'll see if I can get her to accept the crate.

For those wondering about an apparent indifference to my cats - my cats are work animals, just like on a farm. They're primarily for critter control and allowed access indoors (where the food is) or out (where the active food is.) It's a fact of life on the desert and most any working farm I've ever known of that cats are expendable - they're apt to be caught by various birds ( hawks / vultures ) or coyotes.

My dogs, on the other hand, are companion animals - and in the case of Avalanche an "alert dog".

I had the opportunity to take a trip up Christmas Mountain (yes, this is the same Christmas Mountain that Zane Grey and others mention in their westerns.) While my tablet takes awful pictures, I thought you all might like to see a couple of photos about our flat lands.
The first one was taken from the front seat of my Jeep (gotta clean the windshield!) and shows a couple of ranges of further mountains.  
** see pictures on 09/30 **

And, if you look close, this is the road I took to get to where I was when I took these pictures.  Yep, I followed every twist and turn (and bump!) of that road getting up here.  It's only 3.75 miles but takes over a half hour to drive it! Two wheel drive all the way but there were a couple of places that 4 wheel might have helped.
** see pictures on 09/30 **

If you'd like to see a drivers view of the trip, there's a YouTube video that gives the drive real perspective.


They, obviously, had a better camera than my poor tablet.  

Oh, the reason for the trip was to drive another of our hams up to replace some parts of the Ham Clubs repeater located at the top of the mountain.  Once you reach the turn-around (which is not on the main road) it's another couple of hundred feet up to the top - at 74 I'm not in for a 200 ft climb in rocks at about a 45° angle!  He went up, while I waited and got bored.....

... and I'm sorry, no dogs.  I won't take them into the outback country.  If they get loose they're dead - no water, no people to speak of and I don't think that even they could manage the terrain.  If I'd been by myself I might have taken Avalanche since he'll stay in or with the Jeep ...

Wow. A primitive beauty, that's for sure.

Looks like some unforgiving terrain out there!

I like places like that. No one really out there. Gotta debate about whether to kick in the 4wd or not. Been debating about building a good back country crawler for the next rig. Every time I look at new rigs (and their prices) I think about places like that and how I might be inclined to avoid them if I have the price of a house invested in a rig and that just isn't any fun.

I did, but I'm beginning to wonder.  When I moved out here 10+ years ago I could count the places between me and the highway, 1.5 miles away, on one hand - now it's too many even if I take my shoes off.  We've been found and those of us who've been here for more than a couple of years don't particularly like it!