Hi Everyone, apologies but this is probably going to be a pretty long post....

So I have a situation on my hands that I did not see coming, my partner hates Orion. I wish I was kidding but I'm not and when I say hate that is his wording not me dramatizing. I really do not know what to do  

Here's the background story...

My partner and I brought our first home 18 months ago and one of our requirements when we brought was a large fully fenced yard for a dog since we had already decided that we wanted a pup but thought it was best to be settled first. The thing is that pup was planned to be a newfie however when we found our perfect wee home it came with a large deck area which of course has steps and newfies and steps just don't mix. After discussing it we decided that our active lifestyle wouldn't be best for a newfie and perhaps we would get one later in life when we could offer a more suitable newfie friendly environment. So the great breed research started.
I spent hours online looking up breeds, travelling round going to dog shows, meeting breeders etc trying to find the right dog for us. My partner on the other hand just persistently showed me photo after photo of adorable fuzzy husky puppies. After 6 months or so of meeting various breeds and not finding one that "felt" right to me I caved and started researching Sibe breeders. As it turned out there was a very respected breeder close to us so off I toodled to go and meet her (without letting my partner know) and that as the saying goes was the beginning of the end. The next time I went out to the breeder I took my partner with me and he was ecstatic, we spent hours out there asking questions and handling the dogs and by the end of the day he was convinced that a Siberian was for us. Not long after we got a call to say there was a planned mating and would we like to put our name down for a puppy, of course we said yes! I researched obsessively as we waited and went through every scrap of information I could find with my partner. By the time Orion was ready to come home our house was puppy proofed, everything was in place and we had a "game plan" written out and agreed upon on how we were going to raise our little monster.

Then slowly but surely things started to change, and as always as prepared you think you are for the theory of a puppy - reality is always so much harsher.

The thing is I think Orion is doing remarkably well for his age and stage, he was sleeping through the night and potty trained by 3 months, the only thing he has ever destroyed is a feather duster (and come on it feathers of course he is going to "kill" it) he knows basic commands and walks politely on a loose leash - to be perfectly honest he has exceeded my expectations.

He only has two major downfalls neither of which are his fault. He has escaped twice, this was because our fences are 6ft but our driveway gate was not so he jumped it. The gate is now replaced and he has not got out since. Number two is he has attachment issues with me, if I leave at any stage he loses his mind. Our vet has explained to my partner that this is because he does nothing with him, I have trained Orion, I walk him, I feed him, I groom him etc etc so naturally Orion has bonded with me. If my partner would get involved with him then the attachment issues would lessen. Needless to say my partner ignored the vet and still blames Orion for being so "needy" and resents that if I go anywhere it causes problems.

This afternoon I decided to ask what the hell his problem is and why he does he not like our dog when he's the one who wanted a sibe. Well long story short he basically expects unquestioning obedience, a calm disposition and for the dog to be totally loyal to him like he remembers his childhood dog as! All of that from a 7 month old puppy! AHHHH!

I nearly lost the plot at him at that stage and after some very heated discussion he admitted that perhaps his recollection of his childhood dog was a bit "clouded" (his childhood dog was a corgi which died when he was 7!) and maybe he isn't really a dog person after all! Oh and the icing on the cake... he wants us to consider giving up Orion if he doesn't "improve" Like hell I'm giving up my baby!

I honestly am at a loss, has anyone dealt with anything similar? and how did you get through it? Help!

Ouch. Tough situation. Sorry to hear you're going through this. I wish I could offer some sage advice, but I can't. I want to say if I were in the same situation, it would be my partner out the door, because how can you give up your heart dog?

I hope someone else can offer you some advice.

Personally for me it'd be the dog over the guy, but I have never been in this situation. Orion sounds like an absolute gem. Your partner on the other hand sounds like he doesn't know how lucky he is to have you, who researched the breed that he wanted so much, and he doesn't seem to understand that he has an incredibly well behaved pup for his age thanks to your efforts (your partner would hate Yuki 10x as much). I really have no advice, just hope something gets sorted for you x

My hubby really didn't like kiba for a while because her puppy shenanigans and general hyperness. He was used to a teeny obedient Pomeranian so a husky was never his first choice. bUT I have seen a big change in him as she grows older and learns manners. He really likes her now but it took time. Maybe your partner needs time too. It's taken mine almost a year lol. Tell them having a dog for you is like being in a committed relationship- you don't give up on it when there's problems. You try and address e problems. Good luck. I hope someone will offer more knowledgable advice

My boyfriend HATED Kennedy for a good 9 months-a year. He resented how much she was bonded to me and how much of a "trouble maker" she was. Now, he is head over heels in love with her and is a really big part of her life. Not only that, but he adores Sheba and is becoming a really active guardian in ALL the dogs' lives, which is something I honestly thought would never happen.

At this stage, I would slowly hand over more responsibilities to him. Nothing major, but just being like, "hey, I'm really busy, can you feed him?" Maybe just force them to be together. I forced it at first because he was being so resistant to Kennedy and the thought of a dog. Once he got intrigued with her, I nonchalantly asked him to be more active in her life. Asking her to "sit" and other obedience things, and feeding her. Nothing special, but little things here and there.

I would give him time; Chris still gets REALLY annoyed with Sheba and she's been around since she was 8 weeks lol!! If in time, he doesn't come around, you have a hard decision. I can 100% say that if Christopher EVER gave me a serious altematem, I would tell him to with suck it up, or get out. Not only is he asking you to get rid of a dog you have raised as a child, he is giving you an altematem and to me, that is unforgivable.

Good luck with everything.

That's a tough situation. I definitely think you need to start handing over some responsibilities to your partner and make sure he is an active caretaker. A great way for him to form a bond would be doing training classes with Orion, even if Orion is already doing well in the training department. Working together will make your partner more confident about handling Orion, and Orion will be more used to him. It will unfortunately take work on your partner's part to build up a bond similar to what you already have with Orion.

My hubby has had similar issues with my dogs. Not so much with Lucian. But my previous two. I basically told him tough shit, the dogs aren't going anywhere. Deal with it. Now if we weren't married I would have told him he could leave. Hubby hates both of my cats, especially my fat kitty. But I tell him the same thing, they aren't going anywhere.

Randy gets irritated with Loki, but last night he agreed to get pet insurance for him saying he is ours now and being understanding if we go to er I d not want cost to be factor. He cares nothing about dog breeds. He thinks it is the dog, not the breed. He likes Loki cause of his looks and generally laid back personality. Last night he was trying to teach him to stay out of kitchen and Loki started wooing about it. I could see it frustrated him and I then a slight smile from Randy. I said that is him being a husky. He laughed. He hates the talkative bengal cat and yells at her so the most worrisome thing to me was the talking.

Does orion go to puppy school? When we went it was so eye opening to hear everyone else's issues with varying breeds. It makes you realize they are puppies and all have issues. I would just say orion is puppy and this too shall pass. Let him know you understand he is frustrated by puppyhoid and everyone feels frustrated at times. Find out worse frustrations and deal with it together.

My own husband has had his moments with Kingsley, because Kingsley has been a handful in the past. There have been moments where it was so bad that I said "Fine, get rid of the dog the, whatever" and he always caved. Maybe he doesn't actually *hate* Orian, but doesn't know how else to express himself? Maybe if you express to him just how much the dog means to you, he'll be a little more caring to make you happy.

It just sounds like he had a very specific image of what this dog was going to be like based on his previous experiences, but on the one hand he's a puppy and on the other he's a Husky so he is not that image. He sounds disappointed and perhaps resentful. I doubt he really hates him, he just maybe wants him to be something he's not.

I bet once he learns to love the great things about *this* dog he'll come around.

We had this issue with Ares. I brought him home without asking, when my boyfriend clearly didn't want another dog, but it was I take him or he goes to the shelter. He was so scared and just bonded with me immediately after the first 5 minutes of us driving home, and I knew he wasn't going anywhere. My boyfriend resented me for going behind his back and getting Ares, and then hated Ares. It's been a little over a year since we rescued Ares and my boyfriend finally loves Ares, it took awhile but we're finally there. I'd just give it more time.

I'm not going to lie, I kind of hated Zoey for a few months, she bonded right away to my boyfriend and was so loyal to him and really wanted nothing to do with me. It really bothered me, so I decided to start doing Agility classes with her, and now we're fine

My husband and I have a similar issue he does not "hate " Eska but when I am home sometimes she pesters him like theres no tomorrow, barks in his face, nips at his hands, and is generally just a pest and usually only when I am home, if I am not there she is fine. I do most of the handling and feeding. Eska is 17 months now and it has gotten much better but there are times that she does not give up and I end up giving her a time out . (top of the basement stairs) and she goes there willingly.lol I swear she knows she is being bad. Try and tell your boyfriend that things will get better that he is still very much" a puppy" the bets of luck.

Thanks for your words of encouragement I really appreciate it

I have tried getting my partner more involved with Orion but he flat out refuses to take him to classes, walk him etc it is actually at the point where if Orion approaches him with a toy or something he will push Orion away and turn his back on him. It breaks my heart. I will give it another shot though and maybe just start with something small like occasional feeding like suggested something is way better than nothing!

I definitely think he was disillusioned about how things would be when we got a puppy so fingers crossed as Orion matures my partner will start to see some more good about him. I have tried to tell him that puppyhood doesn't last forever and everyone goes through it but he is convinced it is just us (he is a touch dramatic   ) and since I know I won't be able to get him to a group of puppies that would prove my point I have decided to bring a group of puppies to us a number of our friends have young dogs so they are all coming over and bringing their worst puppy raising horror stories.

One thing I am hoping will work out in my favor is summer since we got Orion at the start of Autumn by the time it's summer Orion will be approaching that year old mark. My partner and I always take an extended break over Christmas and we love going tramping so it will work out perfectly that Orion is old enough to come with us. Orion always has a look of pure joy on his face when we are off wandering on a trail somewhere so hopefully my partner will bond a little with him when they are both doing something they love.

To be perfectly honest as much as I am desperate for things to work out with my partner and Orion, I am very much aware that if push came to shove I would be choosing Orion.
For now though I will play the waiting game and hopefully it will work!

My husband doesn't hate Kenzi but he certainly resents her some and it gets on my nerves. When things are good and she's being an angel he likes her well enough, but when she's chewed something or pesters him he hates her and all I hear is "your" dog this and "your" dog that. He's always blaming me for the fact that we couldn't keep his dog saying things like "you hated my dog" and "your stupid dog hated my dog" and on and on until I'm moments from punching him because he's over dramatizing the situation to an almost hateful level. It's stressful living in all the negative energy. I try to make them interact with each other mostly during play time so they experience each other as a good thing because I don't want her to see him as a negative in the household even if he sees her as one. Her personality was definitely a shock to his system (she is exactly like me) and the maintenance and energy was nothing like his old dog (all things I warned him about before getting her) and after he picked her out and begged me to go get her things didn't work between the dogs, he resents her and me for the whole situation, even though having her has made him way more active (something his old dog wouldn't have helped him with) and we can take her places (old dog got car sick). I hope things get better for you all and that it doesn't come to an ultimatum. That's not fair to you or the dog HE pushed to get.

  Im glad to see that I am not the only one who has these issues. In my husbnd defense our past two huskies were nothing like Eska. I purchased Eska from a breeder but they lived a great distance from where we live so I never got to meet her "in person" myself and the breeder skyped from the day the puppies were born as well as both parents , but Eska has a little "mean streak " my husband sees it more then me and its only if she has something she really wants ie half a dead bird.  ( I usually have to barter with her to gt her to leave it.) but none the less it is there, good thing there is not alot of younger kids in our crowd. I dont think she would hurt anybody but she also very different than my previous dogs. I hope she a gets little more respectful as she gets older if anything ever happened between my husband and the dog it would be a pretty hard fought battle on who had to go.

Well, I'm not sure there is a lot I can add, but my hubby didn't like Dizzy too much when he first came home. I let Pat name him, so I think that helped, and I literally did everything care related for a while. I even hired a dog walker when I was at work even though he works from home. I never pushed or asked him to do anything, and eventually he just came around. I think the major turning point was one night when we went out for a family walk. Pat had to take the trash over to the bins, and I stood waiting with Dizzy. When Pat walked away Dizzy lost his sh!t and started yelping and crying and jumping at the end of his leash and when he came back over Dizzy rushed up to him ears back, tail wagging furiously and talking. Pat bent down into a squat and Dizzy climbed up into his lap licking him and biting his arms (love bites). I said, "wow, he's really bonded to you!" From then on he softened towards him and now walks him midday when I'm at work so we don't have to hire a dog walker. BUT, that was something he offered once he felt comfortable with Dizzy.

I think the key for us was that I didn't push, I didn't ask him to do anything (although in our case I wanted the dog, and he wasn't sure) and I let him come to it at his own pace and on his terms. We did have our fights over it, at one point he said it was like having a kid that wasn't his, but he really loves Dizzy now. During one of our fights, I told him that if it came down to the dog or our marriage, I would of course, choose our marriage. I honestly don't think I could have actually gotten rid of Dizzy though, but the fact that I told him that made him feel better. As silly as it sounds, maybe set some time aside for the two of you, lock Orion up and make sure your partner still feels like he is an important part of your life instead of a doggie co-parent. Lol.

In terms of Orion freaking out when you leave, I think you should start working on dealing with this. Dizzy is fine if I leave him in his crate, but if he is out and Pat is home and I leave he freaks, so we're working on Pat giving him treats when I walk out the door. Or, if I hand his leash to someone and walk away he freaks. I love that he is bonded and attached, but at the same time he needs to be with me walking away in case there is ever a situation where its required. When Pat gets annoyed, I just gently remind him that Dizzy is a baby. Anyway, I really hope things work out for you.

That is frustrating...do you guys go on walks with Orion together at all? I think that's what worked for my hubby the most. We would walk Karli together and I'd let him hold her leash. My hubby was not a big dog person and we got Karli because I wanted a dog so for a long time she was "my" dog. It eventually advanced to him asking if I had fed her in the morning and him taking her for walks by himself. Your partner really needs to work on bonding with Orion otherwise he's always going to resent him (and that's what it really is. Its resentment, not hate.) My hubby does notice that Karli is more excited when I come home then when he comes home but he has accepted that (she lets him brush her better than me lol.)

Well I followed through with my "puppy horror stories" plan and had a group of friends over with their puppies I think it has helped hooray!  Steav said to me after everyone had left and I quote "I think I may have been a bit hard on Orion" I swear someone could have pushed me over with a feather! He finally seemed to realize that there is nothing wrong with Orion he is just a puppy and as a bonus Orion was so poooped after spending the day with other dogs that Steav and I got a nice quiet night.

I have been trying to encourage "family" walks rather than just me and Orion but we are not quite there yet - I'm not going to let that bug me though we'll get there eventually
In the mean time I am just focusing on trying to get Steav to make contact with Orion that doesn't involve pushing him away.

I'm trying my best to work on Orion's attachment issues with me, I'm not seeing a lot of progress yet but I will keep at it and fingers crossed if Steav progresses with Orion a bit too it will make a bit of difference. I have until christmas time to work on it since Steav and I have decided to go on holiday for just us. I never considered that Steavs feelings towards Orion could have any relation to the amount of time and effort I am putting into Orion but just in case that is the case I'm consciously trying to make time for just the two of us, I don't know if it will make a difference but a little reassurance for Steav can't hurt!

Thanks again for all your opinions you guys are lifesavers!

Glad to hear things are getting better. So my hubby has been walking Dizzy at lunch time and they are better now too. Today he had to move the car for street sweeping and took Dizzy with him. He sent me a pic of him in the driver's seat with Dizzy hanging in the back. It was SO cute, they are buds now, but I'm glad Pat was traveling for the first 3 weeks when I brought Dizzy home, he missed the worst of it.

Me and my girl friend have had problems since we got Kobe too. He's attached to me because i do everything with him. She gets upset with me because he wont listen to her but she never wants to be around him. I hope as Kobe matures she's able to love him as much as i do.

the only way to build attachment is to have the human and pup/ dog work TOGETHER! we did that with Sierra and my husband, she had issues with men to start with so it was a bit harder but he picked up the feeding and treat giving and walking and in time (like 5+ months) they bonded it takes time and it takes 2. I hope it all gets better for you all but the only way for that to happen if for the person to step up, a dog is not gonna like you just for standing around.

jbealer wrote:

the only way to build attachment is to have the human and pup/ dog work TOGETHER! we did that with Sierra and my husband, she had issues with men to start with so it was a bit harder but he picked up the feeding and treat giving and walking and in time (like 5+ months) they bonded it takes time and it takes 2. I hope it all gets better for you all but the only way for that to happen if for the person to step up, a dog is not gonna like you just for standing around.

Definitely agree to that. My mom is only home on the weekends and the dogs hated her when I first moved in, would not come out from their crates even if she had treats. When she was just 'around' they didn't form any attachment, it wasn't until she started feeding them while I was at work and taking them outside for walks that they really bonded to her. Now when she comes home for the weekend I feel like they love her more than me

When we adopted Ginger, she was attached to me. I was home, I fed her, I walked her, I played with her. Hubby on the other hand, 'didn't have time' to do any of that. He wasn't upset per se, but rather disappointed as he was the one who had dogs throughout his life, not me.

One day he said, 'Wow, who would've thought that you would bond so well with Ginger and she with you. She is YOUR dog.' I replied that all he would have to do was take her for a walk once a day and it didn't even have to be a long walk. As soon as Ginger started to respond to him more with walks, he started to want to do more.

I don't have anything to add, but walks together will help your partner and Orion to start bonding. On your walks, you should have your partner hold the leash. Maybe for feeding, you can make up his food and have your partner put his bowl down so to Orion, it's your partner that is feeding him. If you go on hikes, have your partner hold the leash also. The more you can get your partner to do with Orion, no matter how small, it will help them get closer.

I'm glad to hear you are working very hard at this!

Hopefully you can convince him to walk with you both and perhaps, (gasp) walk Orion on his own. Ours is fairly attached to all three of us, and I attribute it in part to my wife, son and I, all being present for his basic obedience training and the fact that his care is pretty much a shared responsibility.
Storm gets crated whenever everyone is gone and does well with it. He will whine, cry and look longingly out the window for a few minutes if one or two of us leave, but he calms down quickly. Huskies seem to have very strong pack behavior and they like their pack to be together.
Storm gets to stay out of his crate at night, though he has access to it and will wander in and out. He will generally wander between each end of the house a few times a night, splitting his time with my son and my wife and I.

My husband always wanted a husky too! We already had a lab (my want lol) so we got a husky next Balon. That dog is my husbands dog! I feed him, walk, him, groom him, but when my husband comes home Balon is all his lol. Why because he feeds him all the time lol.

We now have two huskies, and my lab! I love all three the crazy pack I have lol.

Sorry your going through this, I would tell the boyfriend if he doesn't "shape up" your gonna have to find him a new home!