My husky is about 9-10 months old and she still has " accidents" She knows she is wrong because I do not even need to actually find the accident and shes got her head down and running for her kennel. She also trys to be sneaky and do it in the far room of our apartment. My problem is that she does not ask to go out all the time.

She will ask sometimes but honestly if she thinks she will get away with going on the rug she will. This has gotten worse over the last week or so. She has had 5 accidents in less than 2 weeks. My boyfriend said if she has an accident again then she needs to go. I am furious with both the dog and my boyfriend. I am anger that the dog knows better and refuses to do what she was taught ( she currently is spending the majority of the day in her crate as punishment ( well more to make sure she doesnt pee agian )

She just visited the vet so no thats not a UTI. She is outright defiant and she knows better. However I do not know how to handle the situation right now. I have 2 choices. LEave my boyfriend and go back home with the pee puppy. Or give him up because my boyfriend is giving me an ultimadum.

I have tried to explain that its not the dogs fault. That maybe she needs more exercise, maybe she doesnt get let out enough, etc etc. He doesnt buy it. I am very torn right now. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now but im afraid that this is just the tip of the ice berg and i will regret giving up my dog.

Has anyone had a similar problem? I also understand this is an apartment and he may be charged for the damages caused by the pet! He feels its not right that i would choose a dog over him. I am sure i know the answer i will get here seeing as this is a husky forum and not a relationship forum but maybe you have some ideas for me.


The way it seems though is that he wants a breed of dog i do not like and wants to use the excuse that huskies are a bad breed in order to get me to get rid of her.

He said " you tolerate her behavior because you feel you have too " I quickly responded " No i tolerate it because I love her, just like I tolerate somet hings you do ! "

Those were our last words before bed. I am at a loss here as to what i should do :*(

Honestly, nobody can make that choice but you (keep the husky or BF) I would think long and hard. From the outside looking in, if he is giving you a ultimatum over a dog, just imagine when it comes to buying a house, marriage, etc.

I'll leave other forum members to give better advice, but hope for the best for you with whatever you choose doing.

*crackles fingers*
I have a few questions - suggestions - options for your problem.
1) Never use the crate as punishment. We live in an apartment too, I know space can be tight. But you need a room you can put her in. Make it the "Time-Out" room. No water - no lights. We do Nova's Time-Out's for 5-10 minutes depending on what happened. You want the crate to be the happiest place on earth for her.
2) You need to go back to square 1 with house training. For example: wake up in the morning - take her out and bring treats. When she pees praise - over praise make it look like she just won an Oscar. Give her a treat. She needs to know that when she pees outside it A=Reward B=Makes you Happy. If she poops do that same over again. You need to make "play roam time" in the apartment a reward. Good article on that: House Training
3) What are you using to clean the pee with? We use Shout Pet formula for the carpet. Also, the previous renters did they have a pet? She may be smelling the other animal.
4) How much exercise are you giving her? You mentioned she may not be. We do 20-30 minute walks every 3-4 hours, roughly 3 hours of play with Nova everyday.
5) When is she having these accidents? Are you home when she does the accidents or are you away?
6) When do you take up the water at night?
7) What is your routine for when she does pee inside? What do you do? We do a 'feel my wrath' yell "STOP" & clap. We also saying something like "Outside! Outside!" We then move him into the Time-Out area (Laundry room), clean it, then take him outside.We wait outside for sometimes up to 20 minutes for him to pee out there. When they do praise like crazy.
#8 Is she trained? Does she know basics like 'Sit/Down/Come/..etc."?
9) Are you the only one doing the house training? Does the Boyfriend help? If you want your pack to be in order then everyone has to help.

It sounds like she is doing this for a few reasons; Maybe it is a UTI or she is doing it because she's rebellious or for another reason. I would check with the vet first then go from there.

I have one question Is she spayed?? If Not could it have anything do with her coming into heat. I really don't know anything about this just asking as something to think about.

Quote :

Honestly, nobody can make that choice but you (keep the husky or BF) I would think long and hard. From the outside looking in, if he is giving you a ultimatum over a dog, just imagine when it comes to buying a house, marriage, etc.

I agree with this statement.

My female Husky will be one year old in two days and she will still have accidents, actually had two yesterday. In the mornings, she has to be let out RIGHT AWAY or else she will go on the floor. She is still a puppy and in my experience with females, is they take longer in my opinion for them to learn to hold it.

My female Dalmatian would get excited and pee everywhere for at least two years before she finally stopped. It's just something they will outgrow.

As long as you are consistent with house training and redirect where is the proper place to potty, then she will eventually get it.

thanks for the feed back. she is crate trained she is not spayed. I honestly think she just need to go outside more but she doesn't ask for whatever reason. So for now she is confined into the office with me when we are not going for walks. No the boyfriend really does not help unless i ask him to. He is detered by the fact that she really doesnt listen to him and follows me everywhere. So he doesnt like her already then intimidates her when she does something wrong.we will be moving out though i can replace a boyfriend for much cheaper than a dog. And i wont feel guilty like i would giving up my dog

This isn't that uncommon an issue and most likely it just means that she isn't fully house-trained yet. So you need to go back to basics with her as if you were starting from scratch. Take her outside a lot more often, and praise like crazy when she goes outside. Don't punish her for going inside, just ignore it and quietly clean it up with something biological. She obviously doesn't know to tell you, or how to tell you, when she needs to go outside, so you'll just have to take her often and at around the times when you know she normally goes. Also if you watch her closely you might start to recognize when she needs to go, even if it's not as obvious as you'd like; you'll learn the signs.

And as said above, don't use the crate as punishment because you want to train her that it is a nice place to be.

Ultimatums aren't very helpful; it would be more constructrive to offer to help find a solution.

It is possible for a UTI or other medical problem to cause an issue like this, but since you were just at the vet it is most likely that she just didn't learn house-training properly yet. It can take longer than people think; sometimes they have mostly got it but not completely, and that's when they get caught out with accidents like this. It shouldn't take long of concentrating on house-training to get it sorted.

If my boyfriend treated any of my dogs the way it sounds like your boyfriend treats her (the intimidation) I would literally kick his ass. That is unacceptable and can cause some serious trust issues with your girl. That is just unacceptable in my opinion and downright scary. Off my soapbox now..

Sheba is 10 months old. She still pees in the house. I feel like she knows better, but in reality she really doesn't. She may know I PREFER her to go outside, but she still isn't 100% potty trained, and I accept that. Her favorite spot to pee is in my bedroom around the corner. My apartment is a one bedroom and I have no doors. You can see into my bedroom, but there is a corner you have to go around to go into my walk in closet; that is her favorite place to go because she can't see me and I can't see her. So, to curb that, she is gated in the living room with me. She is not allowed free roam with out constant supervision. At my mom's house, I take her out every 30 minutes to go potty. Having an accident at my house is one thing, but at my mom's house that is another.

She isn't going to be stubborn, she isn't doing it to show you that she doesn't care what you want her to do..she's doing it because she doesn't know better. Take her out every hour, every half hour, whatever you did with her as a puppy. I take Sheba out about every hour, and the number of accidents have gone down by a large amount. Now, she still has accidents, but it is usually my fault.

Wildkatt87 wrote:

So he doesnt like her already then intimidates her when she does something wrong.

That alone... I would kick his ass to curb regardless of how long we've been dating. A husky or any other dog for that matter is your family, you can't treat someone like that.

Just a suggestion: You need a trigger for Outside. When you start taking her out, before you go outside go to the door and say speak/bark. When she does speak - Open the door go outside give a treat immediately. Make sure you give the treat after you step outside.

How is play time?

OKAY! This entire thread has me pretty furious actually.

Your dog DOES NOT KNOW BETTER. Do not humanize your dog ever. She does not feel bad that she peed in your house, she feels bad because she got caught. She doesn't know what she is doing is wrong. She has to pee, so she goes pee.

I have a one year old who was house trained in less than three months. The only time we've had an accident in the home is when she is on Pred. or left WAY too long.

This does not boil down to exercise, knowing better, being spayed or anything. It comes down to a lack of training and consistency from both you and your boyfriend. As puppies, they can hold their bladder for a maximum of 2 hours, and if they are not taught within the first few vital months, it will take A LOT to teach them not to go inside.

Also, the crate should NEVER ever be used as a punishment tool, but it is OK as a timeout. When my baby was 8 weeks - four months, she would get all crazy and nibbly, and we'd stick her in her crate to calm down and she'd go for a nap.

Your goal is to go back to basics, and both you and your boyfriend need to be involved AND committed. Take your dog out every 2-4 hours. Hire a dog sitter if you have to, come home at lunch, whatever it takes. Never leave your dog in the house without supervision. She needs to be watched like a hawk.

If you crate her, as soon as you take them out of the crate IMMEDIATELY TAKE HER OUTSIDE. You drag her butt outside to pee and you praise her. Pet her, tell her she's a good girl, give her a treat if you must but teach her that you are happy when she pees outside.

If she does anything inside the house, do not acknowledge her, do not talk to her, do not even look at her. Crate her immediately, clean up the mess then take her outside to see if she will eliminate again. If she does, praise her. Do not rub her nose in it, do not yell at her, just let it go. She is a dog, not a human, she does not know any better.

If you rub their nose in it, all they will learn is to be afraid and hide and will try to eliminate in a hiding spot you won't find for a long while which will just be gross. It's hard to wrap your mind around, but it's beneficial to you and your puppy.

And honey, if your boyfriend is not willing to work his ass off for this dog, then he has to go. Someone who resents the dog or doesn't want it to be there will not help this situation. It won't help your future as a couple in any way. I dated a guy who didn't want a dog, and his ass was toast in less than 3 months. When you have a dog, everyone has to be involved in every way. If they're not 100% committed, it will never work.

You made a commitment to this dog, it is essentially a child. Your boyfriend can't handle a dog, how on earth would he deal with a human child? If he can't deal with a little bit of pee, then he shouldn't be around this dog.

This might all sound very harsh, but it's the truth. House training is basics, and anyone can do it if it is done properly.

EDIT
Also, if your boyfriend is resenting the dog, and you seem to be expressing that he didn't want her in the first place, why would you bring in a dog? That is the worst mistake that results in so many abandoned dogs is people bring in a dog when the whole family isn't supportive or into it, and everything goes to hell because one person doesn't want to help take care of the dog.

I live with one other person, but we had up to three other people rotating in during the day to make sure she was taken care of. That's teamwork, and you need to operate as a team to take care of a dog properly.

Wildkatt87 wrote:

I honestly think she just need to go outside more but she doesn't ask for whatever reason.

This has me confused. She is a dog. She doesn't care if she goes in the house so long as she doesn't have to lie in it, and the apartment is plenty big enough for her to do that! You are the human. YOU know better, not the dog. If you know she needs to go out more, who cares if she tells you? Let her out more. Set a timer for yourself so she goes every couple of hours. House training is about training the person, not the dog. Set her up to succeed and she'll get it.

And I second the cleaning comment. Make sure you're using an enzyme cleaner like Nature's Miracle to thoroughly get rid of the smell. It may not smell anymore to you or me, but they can still smell it unless you use something to break it down.

You got lots of good advice about the housetraining, here is my 2 cents on the BF.

He isn't making you choose the dog or him. He is saying he doesn't love you enough to let you keep the dog. He is willing to lose YOU over a dog. Think about that.

A strong relationship is thick and thin. There are no "conditions." There are no threats. Been married for 20 years. My husband and I often drive eachother crazy. It is a given you will not always see eye to eye. But real love doesn't say "my way or the highway."

Now...if you really still think he is the real deal, you may want to ask yourself how much you love HIM. Because you are choosing to do something that causes him stress and makes him unhappy. A non-potty trained dog IS a big problem.

You have to decide which relationship is worth working on though.

Wildkatt87 wrote:

... though i can replace a boyfriend for much cheaper than a dog. And i wont feel guilty like i would giving up my dog

Yeah, that's why I don't push it with my wife of (more than a few) years.

Answering your first question, has anyone else had this experience? Yes. Our first Sibe was over a year old before she was reliably potty trained.

She was a rescue that was originally from a pet store. She was there an unusually long time, 4 or 5 months, and was habituated to going anywhere.

As to your BF, anyone that has dominance issues with a pet that he outweighs by 4 times has fear aggression issues.

I would suggest a professional behaviorist to assess and work with him. A professional will let you know your options. It may be that he is not trainable, or you may decide that you do not have the energy to manage the behaviors. It worked for our Malamute.

Your dog probably pees in the house because when she starts whining or pacing or acting excited, your boyfriend scares her because it annoys him, so shes afraid to tell anyone, and then she knows she will be in trouble for peeing inside so she tries to hide it, and is so stressed about the trouble she just cowers until shes punished.

Id ditch him, and get some training help with your dog, so you can get a better clue to how a dogs head works and what you need to be doing to provide less stressful environment for your dog.

Almost.Like wrote:

OKAY! This entire thread has me pretty furious actually.

Your dog DOES NOT KNOW BETTER. Do not humanize your dog ever. She does not feel bad that she peed in your house, she feels bad because she got caught. She doesn't know what she is doing is wrong. She has to pee, so she goes pee.

Quotes like this get me furious also.

Saying "it's the dog or me," is so immature and manipulative. Or, if she has one more accident... Yeah, living with a dog having accidents sucks, but at the same time it's a dog that needs to be taught what to do. It's an innocent animal that isn't born knowing where to pee and where not to. She doesn't pee in the apartment out of spite or for shits and giggles (no pun intended ha ha), she does it because she hasn't been taught fully not to. You can tell a lot about a person by the way he treats animals. The same way you can tell a lot about someone by what they do when they think no one is looking. If I were in your shoes I would think pretty hard about who this person is, if he's treating a living being like this. Even if he's angry at you for getting a dog that anger should be directed at you not the dog. Good luck with everything.

Edit - if after 2 years of dating my hubby had said its me or______. I probably would have chosen _______. I love my hubby more than anything and now my answer would probably be different, but after two years of dating, even though we were living together at that point, I probably would have walked. On the flip side, he would never give me an ultimatum unless it was a dire situation. I've never reacted well to people trying to control or manipulate or bluff. To me an ultimatum is a childish and hurtful way to solve an issue,unless it is an extremely serious life or death situation.

Is it always in the same spot? She very well could be marking.

Has the boyfriend always lived with her? I would bet he is stressing her out. If Delilah gets anxious she will pee on the bathroom floor. It's how I know she is stressed out - and she is otherwise an angel about going outside and alerting me.

Honestly I think that if the boyfriend really loved you then he will have to love your dog too. I guess that I just got lucky by getting married to a fellow animal lover. Right now my home has 3 fish tanks, 2 birds, 2 dogs, and a cat. To be honest as long as you stick to the "time out" (not in the crate), lots of praise, lots of play, and lots of walks/runs then one day all of your labor of love will pay off. I have learned real fast after getting my two puppies all pups learn at different paces. They are indeed like children. When I first started looking up tips on house training a puppy there was alot of answers that I found that said that it should not take more than 3 or 4 weeks at the most. I thought that my puppies were retarded. But then one day with my older pup it just clicked (it took going pee-pee at the vet's office in the floor). Another little bit of advice the dog will respond better to the boyfriend if you two are one unit (a team). You both have to let the dog out to the bathroom, you both have to play with the dog, you both have to give praise to the dog, you both have to hold strong to the "time out", and you both have to be apart of the feeding and watering. He has to know that the reason as to why the dog will not respond to him is because he will not respond to the dog. Would you try to get along with someone that does not like you? Most of the time you would try to stay your distance.

When my husband and I got our cat (our first pet) the cat took up with my husband more than me. It was like she did not want nothing to do with me but she loved my husband sooooo much. The cat claimed my husband as hers. At night when I would put my arm around my husband she would try to take it off of him or bite me. She would sit on him so proper and stare at me. She did not want me by him at all. She would try to bite my feet if I walked in front of her. She would stand in my way as I walked and when I stopped and told her to get out of my way she would fall on her side to the ground. That would just cause arguements because all he heard was me telling her to get out of the way and then he would look as the cat fell on the ground. So he thought that I kicked the cat. He never believed me when I told him that she would try to take my hand off of him or bite me throughout the night. This took place for about 5 years. But then when we were talking about getting dogs we told eachother that we would work as a team. As soon as the dogs came in the team assembled and the cat just stopped with her attitude. If I were you I would comfert your boyfriend as well like spending time with him to and showing him that he is also special in your life. If my husband did that I think that those 5 years would not have been so bad for me. I hope that this will shed some light on something that seems kind of dim. I also hope that I helped not only you but your pack as well.

As I read all of this I am conflicted as to thinking some posts are being to harsh on you. You came for help so here is my 2cents--I think it is something like this: you have to retrain yourself and you need to continue to train her. Your comments sound like you feel that she should go outside more (so take her outside more) and that she should have more exercise (so excerise more). I know what I say sounds simple and I assume it is more complicated but work on the basics and find her que or indicator for when she has to go plus give her a que for outside (Command, word, bell, etc).

Epimetheus wrote:

Wildkatt87 wrote:

...

I would suggest a professional behaviorist to assess and work with him. A professional will let you know your options. It may be that he is not trainable, or you may decide that you do not have the energy to manage the behaviors...

Yes I suggest that the BF needs to go to someone prffesional and it might help the dog too. I actual thought this as I read this quote. Kidding aside she is still a pup and there is some helpful info here so I hope it actually helps you with her.