Hey guys, I'm in need of some major help! A little background, Nikita came to us at a little over 3 months old, she's now almost 5 months. I've already taught her a few basic commands. I'm working on setting up a new routine for us because of some recent changes in my household, but that's still a work in progress.

The first problem is that my older brother just came back home from working away for a few months and has completely ruined mostly everything. The routine is messed up because he works from home so there's not a routine for him when I'm at work. I just started working full-time for the summer so I wasn't able to establish a new routine before he came. He also lets her do whatever she wants (jumping, biting, barking). He's also not the type of person that can be told to do anything, it's either his way or no way so I know that trying to get him to work with her and stop letting her do that stuff won't go over well.

Another problem is that Nikita and our other dog, Harley, who is a Shih Tzu mix, fight about once or twice a week and I always have to stop it because I'm afraid she'll hurt him. He's a bit of grouch and she's a bit of pest but she's at least 3 times his size and still growing. As soon as he snaps at her she has him pinned. I don't know what to do about it. We just set up a time out area for her outside for discipline because she locks herself in the bathroom and there's nowhere else that can be puppy proofed for a time-out.

The last problem that I have is that I believe she is becoming codependent on Harley. She can be outside without him perfectly fine but if she's inside and he's outside she whines by the door and will hardly listen to me. I know it's going to be very hard for me to break this because he only likes being outside for a few minutes and then he's practically throwing himself at the door. I can distract her for a few minutes but once he starts doing that, distracting her is out of the question. I want to have this solved before Nikita and I move out in a few months in order to make the transition easier. She also does not like Harley to get any attention whatsoever and my brother just makes it worse by deliberately picking him up knowing that Harley will growl and start a fight with Nikita. It would be different if I knew how to desensitize her of Harley getting attention but I'm stuck.

I'm practically doing all of this alone because when my parents get home, they have a routine that they don't want to break away from. Also, my dad's way of training is the alpha dominance, hitting, forceful way and I'm not a fan. We've gotten into a few arguments because of it but I would like to show him there's another way of training that works better than that. 

If there are any tips anyone has to offer, I would greatly appreciate it. I know this has been long but I'm thankful for anyone that reads this far because I need some guidance. Also if anyone has any tips for doing time out correctly I would appreciate that too. I'm still doing research on it because so far a no or eh has worked well with other problems just not leaving Harley alone and some other things.

doggy daycare. That will help with the co-dependence and obsession that is developing with your other dog as well as remove her from the house when your brother is at home and you aren't there to correct what he is allowing her to do. Sounds like the other habitents of the house need trained more than she does. If the others in the house won't be consistent with her then there's not a whole lot that you can do other than do your best to reduce the time that the other people have to allow bad behavior until you can get out and reset her routine. Frankly, moving out will be good for your training because she will have less bad influences. If you start taking her to doggy daycare some now or leaving her with a friend who you trust to dog sit and uphold your rules with her then when you do move out that routine of going to a sitter or daycare a day or two a week will be already there and the one thing that can remain the same. I wouldn't worry much about transitioning to moving out. Once it's just you and her you will be able to establish a more set routine like you had before and she should pick it up and settle in fast. It's just trying to survive the now. I would crate her while I was away and I would tell the people in the house to not touch her. She's your dog and unless the house is on fire they aren't to remove her from that crate while you aren't home since they can't be trusted to adhere to the rules that you have set for your dog.

When people ignore the rules that other set for their dogs, they are disrespecting the owner of that dog. When your brother doesn't care what your rules are for your dog then he is just disrespecting you and your goals for your property. He may not see it that way, but if he works from home and uses a computer and you decided to use his work computer for playing games when he's away and gave it a virus so that it worked slower he probably wouldn't be very happy. That is basically what he does when he ignores and undermines your training with your dog. He is giving your dog bad behaviors that is causing your progress with her to slow.

Thank you for the help! I'll look more into doggy daycare. From what I've found puppies her age should have all of their shots but my vet wants to do a third booster on the 20th before releasing her. We only know that she got her 3 month shots from a shelter that the person who had her before took her to, but not what shots so my vet wants to a full set of the DHLPP before allowing her to socialize with unknown dogs.
I'll try to come up with some more set rules and present them to the whole family and tell them that if they can't follow them, then to not touch her. Right now, I know what I want to happen but haven't had luck in vocalizing them. I'll try it again. 
I don't really have a place she can go to when I'm at work but I put her in her crate when I leave. I work 10 minutes away so I go home on my lunch break and let her out and feed her but I have no clue what happens while I'm gone. I would prefer her just to stay crated unless I'm there but I can't guarantee that at the moment.

Again, thank you for your help! I'll definitely look into doggy daycare!

Hey @cheyanne it sounds more like you need a lot of sympathy until you can get out and on your own. I really don't have anything to add to what @TwisterII said other than it sounds to me like you need to get yourself out of there - soonest.

It's really a bear when you seem to be low man (girl) on the totem pole and it sounds to like that's where you are - at least from your description.

I misremember (a way of saying I'm old and I forget) what part of Texas are you located in?

My boyfriend and I are building a house and it supposed to be done late July. Fingers crossed it stays on schedule. He's on board with the training already and understands that it's my dog. 
I'm in the Tyler area, about 2 hours east of Dallas.

I just wanted to give an update! 

So far there hasn't been a fit between Nikita and Harley in a couple of weeks. (Since I made this post actually.) I don't know who has established themselves as alpha, I assume Nikita, but they're both more tolerable of each other. My brother doesn't let her out during the day that the issue of her doing whatever she wants seems to be solved. I have also been able to establish a better routine. Nikita also goes to daycare for the first time next, they were busy with the holidays, so it was the earliest I could get her in. 

I have also started walking her. I've had to wait until now because there's nowhere I could safely walk her until she was fully vaccinated. Another slight issue has developed, she pulls. It's not bad but it's enough that I want to nip it in the bud now. I'm reading on other posts right now in order to figure out the best ways to stop it. If anyone has any tips on that, I'm open for suggestions. Thank you all for your help!!

The easiest way that I've found is an immediate course correction when they start pulling. Walking my pups here doesn't present the problem with "trespass" that you might have though.

When they start pulling, turn around - go back to where you came from - that means they get a little extra exercise and hopefully they'll start walking closer to you so they can see what's going to happen. Anything that you can do that will make them stop and look at you is what you want to achieve - stopping, btw, works well but changing direction works better ( IMHO )

Let's both of us 'knock on wood' my two females haven't had a cat fight in several months now - my cats on the other hand woke me up this morning.

I know they make dog halters, which ive never tried, but i had amazing success putting shadow in a goat halter.

I tried the stopping thing today and it didn't seem to do very much, but I'll start walking in the other direction. When do you turn back around and keep going the direction you were going? 

I'm getting her an Easy Walk harness soon. The harness I have is very thick and padded and I just feel it makes her hotter. It's good for when we're in public, but I feel the easy walk may be better for just walking. This is the one I have now. 

https://www.amazon.com/PoyPet-Harness-Reflective-Attachments-Control/dp/B07C2T574V/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?keywords=poypet&qid=1559179698&s=gateway&sr=8-2

Any opinions before I buy the easy walk?

PS I had not done a lot of research before I bought the PoyPet so if anyone sees anything that could be a problem and has a better recommendation, I'm all ears!

I personally would work on training it out before resorting to too many gait altering harnesses and methods. Easy walk harnesses redirect the way your dogs walk and can cause damage to your dogs structure. Read through the materials in this thread (harness choice) to decide which style harness could work for you while not injuring your dog.

Your current harness may seem hot but is much like the Kurgo that I have and mine aren't that bothered by it. The kurgo has mesh so it's breathable. Many here get ruffwear harnesses and they work and hold up very well. Worth the cost.

Thank you for the informarion, Jenn. I will definitely wait before purchasing the easy walk! We just got back from our walk and the changing direction method started working after she had tired herself out. I know it will take time to fix so I'm going to keep working on it.