Husky of the Month |
Congrats Nikita, Archer, and Cheyanne,our November HOTM Winners! Husky Cuddles!
Thanks to all for this month's entries!
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Author | Message |
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Kaytipie Newborn
Join date : 2014-12-01
| Subject: Unsocialized puppy HELP Sat Dec 13, 2014 2:55 pm | |
| My puppy is now 10 weeks old. We got her two weeks ago. The man we bought her from kept the dogs outside in a small concrete yard in the Bronx. The puppies had no human interaction what so ever and my puppy is scared to death of everyone but me. She has no social skills at all and she will not make eye contact with anyone even myself sometimes. My boyfriend tries so hard to shower her with love and affection but she is still scared of him. At first we thought maybe in a couple days she'll warm up to him but it seems to be getting worse; she won't even stay in the same room as him. This means I have to take her outside, I have to feed her, bathe her, play with her because when he tries she puts he breaks on and keeps her head down. Does anyone have any ideas how to warm her up to him or even why she's acting this way? He keeps assuming "a guy with a beard beat her!" (He has a beard obviously) I feel sorry for both of them as they can't have a nice relationship because of her stubborn little mind! HELP |
| | | mssuchy Teenager
Join date : 2014-12-10 Location : Detroit, Michigan
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Sat Dec 13, 2014 3:00 pm | |
| My puppy is 10 weeks old as well and was kept outside too. When we first met the pup he wanted nothing to do with us and now he has warmed up to us. I would just try to socialize her and let her experience as much as she can, nothing too fast though. If she is extremely stressed then it might be too much at once. If she has even the littlest good experience with someone other than you praise her and maybe give her a treat. 10 weeks is still really young and she still has a long way to go, as does mine! |
| | | Kaytipie Newborn
Join date : 2014-12-01
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Sat Dec 13, 2014 3:03 pm | |
| Yes the vet told me to keep her very social too so I bring her around lots of people (small crowds at a time though- 2-4 people) I just hope she breaks out of this and it's just a stage ! |
| | | lillith87 Senior
Join date : 2013-05-26 Location : Michigan
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Mon Dec 15, 2014 12:52 am | |
| Try having him take her for a walk. Don't come along. See if the pup warms up to him. Dogs bond best with anyone on walks.
Also back off of some of the responsibilities, and let him do some of the work, like potty time, feeding, treats..... lots of treats. Try the tiny zukes, great for training and since they are small, they are easy for puppies to chew.
Huskies are a family/pack dog, they don't like to be just a one person dog, they thrive on having a relationship with the whole household.
Just go slow, one step at a time. If there has been abuse in the previous environment, it may take a while. But I promise, the work both of you put in will show eventually, you just need to build up the trust.
Good luck
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| | | Barczewska Puppy
Join date : 2014-07-21 Location : Ottawa, Ontario
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Mon Dec 15, 2014 11:18 am | |
| Maybe have him feed her from his hand. Could be a way to build trust. She is still very young, so I wouldn't stress out too much about it...just take small steps |
| | | wpskier222 Senior
Join date : 2013-02-11 Location : NYC
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Mon Dec 15, 2014 2:54 pm | |
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| | | Kaytipie Newborn
Join date : 2014-12-01
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Tue Dec 16, 2014 7:44 am | |
| ^No I live in nj
Thanks for the suggestions it's very hard bc im home more than my boyfriend so of course I feed her and play with her the most but when he gets home I make him take over the puppy duty he just gets so frustrated because she ignores him! |
| | | lillith87 Senior
Join date : 2013-05-26 Location : Michigan
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Tue Dec 16, 2014 10:16 am | |
| Tell him to act crazy excited. Like just won the lottery happy. Puppies dig that sort of energy. |
| | | Kaytipie Newborn
Join date : 2014-12-01
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Tue Dec 16, 2014 10:18 am | |
| He does lol trust me he looks pretty stupid but he does! |
| | | lillith87 Senior
Join date : 2013-05-26 Location : Michigan
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Tue Dec 16, 2014 10:41 am | |
| It will probably just take some more time than usual. Just keep doing what your doing, you're on the right path.... (imagining a silly crazy guy making a husky puppy laugh now) |
| | | Kaytipie Newborn
Join date : 2014-12-01
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Tue Dec 16, 2014 10:58 am | |
| Thanks for all the suggestions I'll keep you all posted on the progress |
| | | Kaytipie Newborn
Join date : 2014-12-01
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Wed Dec 17, 2014 8:48 am | |
| Okay plan B anyone? She's getting worse he tries to feed her she walks away he tries to give treats she walks away. If she's playing with me as soon as he walks in the room she stops and puts her head down. Help ! |
| | | amymeme Senior
Join date : 2013-12-20
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Wed Dec 17, 2014 1:05 pm | |
| Is she crated? If so, take a pair of boyfriends stinkiest dirty socks or or an unwashed tee shirt he has worn and put them in the crate.
I would change the approach. If puppy is fearful and not responding to his play, maybe if he were more quiet, soft...picking her up, gently petting her, stroke her ears, coo at her softly. Maybe have him take her out in the morning. If her previous caretaker really was nasty to her, than it will take gentle, loving patience. Maybe he could hold her i his lap as he watches tv. Not forcing her but just gently being a presence.
Are you sure she is healthy? My first pup, many, many years ago came from a bad breeder and was invested with worms, illness and would not play. |
| | | amymeme Senior
Join date : 2013-12-20
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Wed Dec 17, 2014 1:10 pm | |
| Also - it is going to take time. Boyfriend needs to nottake this personally (easy to say, hard to do.) |
| | | Kaytipie Newborn
Join date : 2014-12-01
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Wed Dec 17, 2014 1:38 pm | |
| He tries to lay with her on the couch and let her and be gentle as well but she turns away or runs to her crate. I like the idea of putting his clothes in her crate I'll try that today! Hope she doesn't eat anything or he's gonna be mad haha! He's def. taking it personally which is why I feel so bad for him! Thanks for the crate idea! |
| | | Kaytipie Newborn
Join date : 2014-12-01
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Wed Dec 17, 2014 1:39 pm | |
| Also she is healthy vet said looks great just need to work on the social skills ! |
| | | amymeme Senior
Join date : 2013-12-20
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Wed Dec 17, 2014 2:10 pm | |
| Show boyfriend this thread - he needs to know it's not him, it's the puppies history.
Consider this a systematic desensitization process. Have him start by taking her out of the crate first thing in the morning, gently, pet her, rub her ears, cuddle gently then hand her to you...make all the contacts with him first when he is home. Just a few minutes each time. If you can find some treat that she absolutely loves, he can offer it before he gives her to you. Very gradually, as she tolerates, increase his time holding her.
It will take time, but if he's patient, she will come around. |
| | | seattlesibe Senior
Join date : 2013-02-05 Location : seattle, wa
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Wed Dec 17, 2014 2:45 pm | |
| To play devil's advocate here, your puppy's history aside, it still could be directly related to your husband.
He's probably not intentionally doing it, but he may be stressing her out with his body language, emotional energy, and his own stress and worry about the situation. He may just be trying to hard to will a good relationship with her, and in fact be working against his goal.
Granted, I'm not an advocate for prioritizing psychological trauma over the current state of affairs with dogs, especially young resilient puppies, but it as at least something to consider.
Another approach besides what has been suggested with the priority being her past, if he wants to entice her now, he can just ignore her at all times.........yet, make himself as irresistible and attractive as possible. With his intentionality off of her and on just being indirectly interesting to her, perhaps with treats in his pocket all the time, he may be able to naturally and subversively draw her to him .
The chances are very good that he is making his own bed here, so to speak. |
| | | seattlesibe Senior
Join date : 2013-02-05 Location : seattle, wa
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Wed Dec 17, 2014 3:05 pm | |
| - Kaytipie wrote:
- He tries her to lay with her on the couch and pet her and be gentle as well but she turns away or runs to her crate. I like the idea of putting his clothes in her crate I'll try that today! Hope she doesn't eat anything or he's gonna be mad haha! He's def. taking it personally which is why I feel so bad for him! Thanks for the crate idea!
he hasn't done anything wrong to her so why is he taking it personally? He's too focused on her past AND he's worried all the time. In other words, he is a mass of negative energy to her. Why should she want to be near him? He's trying to win her over with love and affection but that's putting the cart before the horse. She should only get that when she's calm and behaving normally, especially from him . Dogs don't need love like we do. I personally think he needs to give her space, ignore her, and focus on things that would attract her. His directness has good intentions but his energy and his method is hurting , not helping. |
| | | wpskier222 Senior
Join date : 2013-02-11 Location : NYC
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Wed Dec 17, 2014 3:16 pm | |
| I would actually suggested almost the opposite as most, but agree with Jeff (big surprise ). My hubby was not really into having a dog at first and just pretty much ignored Diz unless he urgently needed something and I wasn't around. It was actually the best approach. It allowed Diz to get used to and comfortable with his presence and approach on his own terms, and Dizzy now worships the ground he walks on. Also, I think the puppy is too young to really be considered to 'have a history,' I mean the window for socialization is still wide open, and the experiences he/she have now are going to have more impact than the first 8 weeks, so I wouldn't worry about that at all. I would suggest the best approach for your hubby is just to generally ignore her and toss little bits of cheese her way, or drop them in front of her as her nonchalantly as he passes by, without interacting really, just literally toss it to her without eye contact or talking to her, huskies are smart, it won't take her long to figure out where it's coming from. Just like strangers, don't force an interaction. Allow it to develop organically, pretty soon he'll be categorized as 'guy who gives me cheese' and will transition to 'awesome puppy slave guy who lives in my house' |
| | | wpskier222 Senior
Join date : 2013-02-11 Location : NYC
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Wed Dec 17, 2014 3:24 pm | |
| For what it's worth, my pup spent a lot of his first 8 weeks in a kennel as well, and I went to a good breeder. It's fairly common among show breeders to raise their puppies that way. It's also just as common for them to be raised in the house. AND, husky puppies are very different than other breeds. I'm still shocked when a puppy I've never met before is super snuggly and sweet, Dizzy was not like that at all, very aloof and I took it personally at first too. As he's maturing, he's getting more affectionate and I really enjoy it. Give her time, she'll come around. |
| | | seattlesibe Senior
Join date : 2013-02-05 Location : seattle, wa
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Wed Dec 17, 2014 3:42 pm | |
| and to add, to that I think putting his clothes on her crate is a bad idea for one reason being that she can smell him in his house everywhere she doesn't need his clothes on her crate, and also, if there is already a negative association with him this will only make it worse for her in her crate. |
| | | amymeme Senior
Join date : 2013-12-20
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Wed Dec 17, 2014 4:06 pm | |
| There may be some merit in Jeff's and Jen's suggested approach. For what it's worth, my husband did not really want a dog, let alone another part-time pup...but we got them. I was the not only the primary caretaker, but the only caretaker...gradually, the dogs wormed their way into his heart. Even though he really ignored them (he says "they are only going to die and I don't want the hearbreak" ), they saw him, he was around. They initiated all contact. Particularly Archer, the grandpuppy (who is forever getting into trouble). Your boyfriend will have to figure out what approach he is most comfortable with... |
| | | Kaytipie Newborn
Join date : 2014-12-01
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Wed Dec 17, 2014 4:12 pm | |
| Great suggestions I'll relay all of this to my boyfriend and see what he says. thanks! |
| | | seattlesibe Senior
Join date : 2013-02-05 Location : seattle, wa
| Subject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP Wed Dec 17, 2014 4:32 pm | |
| indifference is a very powerful aphrodisiac |
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