UndarthAngipoo wrote:

I'm really sorry you have to go through this. But just so I know I have the facts straight, you're going to be euthanizing her before you try spaying her?

Two specialists I have seen (one vet behaviorist and the vet who did her EEG), along with my normal holistic vet, told me that spaying her would have no positive effect, and there is no telling how she would react to anesthesia with her condition.

I'm not willing to risk her having an episode for a procedure that is strongly believed by three professionals that it will not help, and they don't believe her being intact has anything to do with it either. It is her brain, not her hormones.

siku&nikolai wrote:

Kelsey, I am so sorry! I wish this wasnt the case, but only you know what is best!

This isnt a you should try this or anything, but im more curious as to why if they are behavioral seizures, seizure medicine wouldnt work? Again not saying that you should, but just wondering about the condition as a whole. Would that also make a dog with this disorder more violent?

Her condition is not a normal seizure condition. Medicine would make her worse, it wouldn't treat anything, it wouldn't prevent anything, it would just turn her into a slug, and even more unpredictable.

I really really really didn't want it to be this- but it's been in the back of my mind for a while. So sorry Kelsey- I know what you're going through. Putting Mickey to sleep still makes me hate myself. Even though I knew (as you do) that there is no alternative. Different reasons- but it hurts just the same. If you need anything you know where to find me.

Do not medicate her. It only traps her in her own brain. It's a horrible life. My moms old boss.. She had a dog who had this. She did medication for a year before finally realizing what had to be done. The dog was indeed a slug. The most accurate term for it.

arooroomom wrote:

Do NOT medicate her. It only traps her in her own brain. It's a horrible life.

Exactly. The only thing I can do for her is to let her go in peace surrounded by my arms as she does. No more "coming to" from an episode to Kennedy tearing her up, no more me hitting her to get her off a dog (I've had to do this twice as she was latched to kill) and her screaming and crying and terrified of me because she has no idea why I am hitting her, no more confusion for her.

She got the short end of the stick genetic wise, and that's it. There is nothing I can do expect be a selfish person and make her live out the rest of her years in a basket muzzle, just because I am too weak to do the right thing.

So very sorry Kelsey. For my own clarity, would you say this is most like a mental illness that cannot be treated? That is what it sounds like to me with "light switch" changes in attitude or mood.
I give this as a thought of comfort, you may be ending the physical existence of Sheba but you are setting free the spirit and the spirit will live as long as you keep it in your heart.

Sending you hugs and strength as you get through the next few days. Peace to you all.

Kelsey, your strength in responding to those who just don't understand and, like all of us *really* want something different is astounding. I don't think I have either the strength or the patience to respond as you have.

This is *not* intended as criticism of any of the posts, as I said we all want the situation to be different - I'm just sorry that it cannot be.

Kelsey - I do believe, based on you description, Sheba most likely has a subtle brain abnormality, probably analogous to epilepsy, that is not treatable and thus, carries a significant risk of serious injury to you and others. My heart goes out to you and I truly believe you are doing both the responsible and loving thing in having her put down. I am only sorry that you and your family and Sheba have to go through this. Life is not always kind and you can only do your best. Take care

Al, I agree I don't think I could be this patient with people. I've studied Psychosis of the mind for a number of years. Whether it be genetic and it doesn't show up for several generations or it's from a severe brain injury, the end result is the same. Lucidity becomes shorter and shorter over time, until the point where lucidity no longer exists. I can use serial killers as an example, it may take decades before they make their first kill, the second may take a while too, however, the time frame between each kill will become shorter and shorter, until that is all they can do. Yes Sheba could be medicated however there only two outcomes to this, one being in a vegetative state forever, who would want that for any living being. Two the psychosis excellerates out of control, and that's just dangerous. This dog is in mental pain. Is it because of inner breeding, over breeding, wires crossed at birth, or brain injury? We as a society can't even figured those things out for humans, how are we to try and figure it out for pets? Something went wrong in the brain pre 8 weeks of age. Kelsey has gone above and beyond trying to help this beautiful dog. PTS is setting Sheba free from her own mental illness. I am not sad for Sheba with this outcome, I am for Kelsey, but in reality this is the only kind thing that any of us can do for a living creature who cannot explain to us that they are in pain, trapped inside themselves. Mental illness is the most difficult medical problem to diagnose, and treat, even for humans. And as Hughie said Sheba's spirit will be set free.

Amy well said. I've been so sad and have cried more than once on this situation that Kelsey is in, although mature for her age, I would have been a babbling idiot if it were me at such a young age trying to deal with this. The questioning of my decisions, the different opinions, and back in the day the lack of support would have ate me up.

Kelsey everything you said about it being like a switch is so right. One minute they're there, the next there not, then after the don't even understand what happened to them. It's so hard to see. Also everything your vets said about it being like a seizure, and meds probably not working, and neuter/spay not working is exactly the same thing my vet said.

The one thing I forgot to mention last time is that Yes you will feel sad and angry after but you are also going to be relieved. Relieved that she won't have to suffer anymore and relieved that YOU won't have to suffer anymore. I hated myself for feeling that way but I did. I was relieved to not be on my toes anymore, afraid when he would attack again and how bad the injuries would be. You won't have to worry when she'll attack your other dogs and then having to wrestle her away and lock her up.

Soon after we got phoebe she was in my room with me chewing on something in front of my closet and I need to get to it. I took a few steps toward her and stopped, afraid she would attack me. Then I realized she's not bailey, she won't attack, so I stepped over her with no problem, not even a flinch. It hit me then how traumatized I was from my whole experience with him and how relieved I was to not have to experience it anymore.

Again, So sorry. Best wishes, Keri

I understand where people are coming from with their questions. I has heard of Rage Syndrome as "Springer Rage" when I had first started studying to go to vet school and at the time I had honestly thought it was some made up term for something people couldn't explain...so I too had a lot of questions. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not easy AT ALL, but I understand it and can appreciate where it is coming from.

If there was anything in the world that could save my dog...I would do it in a heart beat.

But, yes, you could compare it to a mental illness. It's a malfunction in her wiring. She doesn't know what's wrong, I don't know what's wrong, we just know she isn't happy.

I posted a question about rage sydrome in a group filled with some of the smartest dog minds I'd ever met, and to hear their stories of dogs they'd encountered with this...disease, it was humbling. One breed mentor told me of her friend who had a Bearded Collie with the same issue, and the owners chose to ignore it or chalk it up to something else...well, long story short, a child lost half of her face because of that. I refuse to sweep her issues under the rung, only to chance her hurting someone else and then being PTS as a dangerous dog.

That's what it comes down to, really. Letting her finally be free of the pain and confusion of her mind with me there right beside her, or tempting fate. I keep telling myself she isn't happy, she isn't thriving...I can't be weak and selfish and keep her here because I can't say goodbye.

And, the odd thing, I really feel like she knows. She's never been a cuddly Sibe. Always been the type to come and say hi, get some scratches, then off she goes to her spot on the couch to sleep. The past couple days, she hasn't left my side. I honestly and truly feel like this is her telling me she is ready and letting me know it's okay.

Sheba will be set free tomorrow afternoon. I really cannot express how amazing it feels to have this community behind me. My mother has never understood my passion and has often mocked me and told me to get rid of my dogs. She and her husband have always been vocal of their dislike for Sheba because she is my dog through and through. I don't have much support here on the home front, so you guys have no idea how much I need you.

We will no longer live in a prison. Sheba will no longer be a captive of her mind, and we will no longer be a captive of her aggression.

She has brought me so much joy and taught me so much in the little time that she has graced my life. I will talk more about her when I start a rainbow bridge thread, but I will need time. Once again, thank you everyone.

So sorry to hear it's come to this, but I know you've done a lot of thinking and discussing and research and have determined this to be the best, most humane course of action. I agree, but it doesn't make it any less heartbreaking. Wishing you and your family peace in such a difficult time.

I will be thinking of you all today Kelsey. My heart is heavy for your loss but know you are doing the best you can for your girl. Sending you all peace today <3

So sorry to hear this

I'm really sorry Kelsey,
I'm sure you are having a difficult time with this, I have nothing to offer but hugs.

Awe, I've been away from the forum for a while but I was thinking about beautiful Sheba and wanted to see if you posted any updates. So sorry this had to happen.

This is so sad,I dont know how I would deal with it.My condolences.

Condolences to you. This breaks my heart just reading this!