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Thanks to all for this month's entries!
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| Author | Message |
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seattlesibe Senior
Join date : 2013-02-05 Location : seattle, wa
| Subject: Depressed after move Tue Nov 19, 2013 3:58 pm | |
| Many of you know we just bought a house and have been preparing to move (pictures of Link in the house are coming, I promise). We moved in this past Sunday morning.
All in all it went smoothly. We had movers so I was able to be out with Link and keep him away from the all the fuss.
Sunday just exhausted him and he slept like a rock on his bed all Sunday evening and through the night. Yesterday and today he has been noticeably sad, or just seemingly depressed and very nervous. I have never seen him like this before. He follows us around like a shadow and when one of leaves he cries by the door for about an hour, which is also new for him. He can't seem to handle our trio being broken up. He's eating normally and he has not peed or pooped in the house at all. He really likes his new yard, a lot in fact and he has responded very well to me teaching him his new potty routine.
His exercise is now back to normal after a day off, yesterday.
So just out of curiosity, how long should this slump last you think? I know many folks on here have moved recently. I scanned the moving threads but they are all about potty relapses and we aren't dealing with that at all. Just dealing with what seems like a depressed lil guy. |
| | | blueeyedghost Maverick
Join date : 2011-07-01 Location : Denver, CO
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Tue Nov 19, 2013 4:08 pm | |
| We had a super disruptive move last December, and Ghost had a pretty hard time with it. Lulu had the whole potty relapse deal, but Ghost was very anxious through the whole process. Once we got all our stuff and Aaron was back full time ( he was back and forth between Florida and Maryland for a couple weeks), she settled down and got a new routine. Give him a solid week or two, and I'm sure he'll settle down. And hurry up with those pictures! _________________ Shadow's Blog Canine Hydrocephalus Support on Facebook "Being the parent of a special-needs pet means living your life constantly poised on the edge of a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you become a fierce defender of the ways in which your little one is perfectly ordinary — all the things he or she can do that are just like what everybody else does. And yet, you never lose sight of how absolutely extraordinary that very ordinariness is, how difficult, remarkable and rewarding that fight to be 'just like everybody else' has been." -Gwen Cooper, "Homer's Odyssey" Shadow - 03/01/2013 - 10/02/2014 |
| | | Hughie Adult
Join date : 2013-04-17 Location : South East Wisconsin!
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Tue Nov 19, 2013 5:36 pm | |
| I agree with Meredith but also add that this is not home yet and he just wants to be sure you don't leave him behind. When we moved into our house the Springer we had at the time acted the same way. Time will reassure him and all will be normal. Enjoy the house! My daughter and her family left Sammamish two years ago, housing was always in demand then, expensive too! |
| | | seattlesibe Senior
Join date : 2013-02-05 Location : seattle, wa
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Tue Nov 19, 2013 7:34 pm | |
| Ok thanks for the encouragement. The good news is that we have a solid 4.5 days before he has to be alone in his crate. I have been retraining him in his crate with his mealtimes as though we are starting from scratch just to be sure. Pics.....coming....ugh. So tired |
| | | seattlesibe Senior
Join date : 2013-02-05 Location : seattle, wa
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Thu Dec 05, 2013 12:11 am | |
| I wanted to update this thread for anyone who searches for issues with moving in the future.
Link is perfectly back to normal now. We've been in the new house for two weeks this past Sunday, so 17 days.
He was depressed for 2-3 days. Sulking, sad looking, low energy, not playful or very responsive, panting a lot, yawning a lot, and very nervous.
This cleared away but then he had pretty severe anxiety for another week straight, with what was very obviously abandonment issues. He would freak out when one of us left the room, and because our house is 3 floors, he would also be very anxious and panicked if one of us left the floor. He simply would not tolerate being on a different floor from me especially (he's much more bonded to me, by far).
Then, after 10-14 days and his exercise increased and a definitive routine set up and guests and lots of play and bonding and fun stuff and field trips, he settled down and is now totally normal.
I would say that his anxiety lasted a solid 2 weeks and his depression 3 days.
He now is relaxed and confident and has no problem being alone on a floor or with us on different floors or in his crate, etc. He loves it here now.
With my very recent experience with this issue I would offer this advice:
-visit the new place often with your dog, if possible.
-keep your dog away from the actual move day. It is impossible to shelter them from packing but have a helper walk your dog when actually moving. That is just too stressful, and unnecessary.
-if you or your partner/roommate can take a few days off in the new place, do it. If we had to crate Link and leave him alone during the depression period I think it would have been really bad. They need to be showered with positive associations, bonding time, new routines, and your leadership.
-exercise. Like any other situation, a tired dog is a good, happy dog.
-lay off the corrections or discipline for a while. One thing I did too much and added to Link's stress was walking him around the new n'hood and parks, and then when he was being defiant and exploratory (normal) I would correct him way too much and get frustrated rather than just letting him be a dog. I was treating his walks in the new environments like they were the same ole' walks from before. Lesson learned. Let them explore and get some of their energy and curiosity out. It is them dealing with the situation like they know how, by being dogs.
-if they need space to just be, give it to them. Try to let them set the pace they are comfortable with. Forcing them to do things will only add to their stress.
-let them meet the neighbors. the more familiar and friendly the area becomes, the better.
-potty breaks, more often than you've been used to. For us it was easy because we went from an apt. complex to a house with a yard. Phew.
-as counterintuitive as it sounds, don't show them too much affection while depressed or anxious. This, afterall, supports and reinforces what they are currently feeling, and what you want them to be is relaxed and comfortable and confident. The opposite of depressed and anxious.
-most importantly, try to have fun and make them a part of everything possible once in the new place. this will further their adjustment along.
Cheers.
Hope this helps somebody in the future.
Last edited by seattlesibe on Thu Dec 05, 2013 1:59 pm; edited 2 times in total |
| | | GingerDog Puppy
Join date : 2013-02-03 Location : Colorado
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Thu Dec 05, 2013 12:15 am | |
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| | | seattlesibe Senior
Join date : 2013-02-05 Location : seattle, wa
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Thu Dec 05, 2013 12:18 am | |
| Thanks Lydia, it broke my heart for a few days But now all is good and things are so fun! |
| | | GingerDog Puppy
Join date : 2013-02-03 Location : Colorado
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Thu Dec 05, 2013 12:22 am | |
| I feel your pain! My non-husky had similar moving problems. She started out with anxiety, though, so it was a stressful time for her . It makes you wish you could do something to help them! |
| | | seattlesibe Senior
Join date : 2013-02-05 Location : seattle, wa
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Thu Dec 05, 2013 12:23 am | |
| Yeah, his anxiety was delayed due to a depression at first. That was really tough for us. |
| | | siku&nikolai Senior
Join date : 2013-06-17 Location : Maine
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Thu Dec 05, 2013 12:44 pm | |
| Thanks for this! If our move works out in a month, I know Siku is going to be like this and I've been trying to think of ways to help him get through this transition and this list helped with good ideas! I'm also going to get some rescue remedy or something to have on stand by just in case to help ease him. I'm glad Link is back to his normal behaviors! |
| | | seattlesibe Senior
Join date : 2013-02-05 Location : seattle, wa
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Thu Dec 05, 2013 2:00 pm | |
| Thanks Erica, and good luck with your move.
Feel free to come back here to chat and share your experience.
Cheers. |
| | | wpskier222 Senior
Join date : 2013-02-11 Location : NYC
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Thu Dec 05, 2013 5:04 pm | |
| Glad to hear our doppelganger is doing better. Great advice. |
| | | seattlesibe Senior
Join date : 2013-02-05 Location : seattle, wa
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Thu Dec 05, 2013 5:05 pm | |
| Thanks buddy, me too |
| | | TwisterII Senior
Join date : 2013-06-14 Location : Missouri
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Thu Dec 05, 2013 6:23 pm | |
| It's nice to know they will be okay. We move in a week and have been packing some for the last two weeks and Kenzi has definitely picked up that changes are coming. Being a shelter dog the house we are in now isn't the only home she has ever known and I hope that helps her since she adapted to our current place so fast when we got her. Though on the other hand she has been without home and people as well and hope that doesn't in the end make it worse if she thinks she's going back to that time. You've given me lots of things to try to make her move smoother. Thanks! _________________ |
| | | seattlesibe Senior
Join date : 2013-02-05 Location : seattle, wa
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Thu Dec 05, 2013 6:26 pm | |
| Glad to help Jenn. I would look out for abandonment issues in particular with a rescue. Make a concerted effort to get toys, crate, food and water bowls set up first to make it as normal as possible. The sooner the new routine is set the better.
Good luck. |
| | | TwisterII Senior
Join date : 2013-06-14 Location : Missouri
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Thu Dec 05, 2013 6:43 pm | |
| We have taken the whole week after closing off from work and currently we walk by the house everyday on our walk since it's literally 5 houses down from where we live now. I think "her" couch is going to be one of the first things moved. She isn't crate trained but she sleeps on that all day most days. _________________ |
| | | seattlesibe Senior
Join date : 2013-02-05 Location : seattle, wa
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Thu Dec 05, 2013 6:45 pm | |
| Sounds perfect, nice. You're set for minimizing the impact for sure. |
| | | TwisterII Senior
Join date : 2013-06-14 Location : Missouri
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Tue Jan 07, 2014 2:48 pm | |
| So Kenzi has settled into the house well enough it seems. She loves her new yard and the extra space in the living room she has to play with her toys. We are back to the same routine we had at the old house and even the placement of the furniture at the new house is similar, but in the last week or so she just hasn't been herself. In particular with my husband. She's been mopey and moody and has growled at him a lot. He hasn't done anything to her. She's never been hit by him or hurt. She didn't used to ever growl at him, now if he hugs her she growls. If he sits next to her on the couch a little close, she growls. She will still play with him and beg for treats from him like normal and she'll lay in the man-cave with him, but she just doesn't want him being too close to her. She still lets me use her as a husky pillow just fine and doesn't growl at me. I'm just not sure if maybe she's having a harder time with the move than we thought or if something else could be going on. _________________ |
| | | seattlesibe Senior
Join date : 2013-02-05 Location : seattle, wa
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Tue Jan 07, 2014 3:22 pm | |
| How long has it been now since you've moved in? |
| | | TwisterII Senior
Join date : 2013-06-14 Location : Missouri
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Tue Jan 07, 2014 3:54 pm | |
| A little less than a month. It started about a week ago. At the same time she quit sleeping in bed with us. She's been sleeping alone out in the living room for the last week. For the most part we give her her space since that seems to be what she wants, but it just is odd for her. _________________ |
| | | seattlesibe Senior
Join date : 2013-02-05 Location : seattle, wa
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Tue Jan 07, 2014 4:01 pm | |
| Well there are too many possible explanations to try to focus on one thing. You are best suited to make that call.
Seems like she should be use to the house by now if things are back to normal and her new routine is set and she's eating normally, getting exercise, etc.
Sorry you are going through this though. |
| | | wpskier222 Senior
Join date : 2013-02-11 Location : NYC
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Tue Jan 07, 2014 4:16 pm | |
| Did you ever resolve the problem she was having with the discharge? Honestly, it kinda sounds like maybe she's hormonal... Did you find out if she had been spayed? |
| | | TwisterII Senior
Join date : 2013-06-14 Location : Missouri
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Tue Jan 07, 2014 5:07 pm | |
| She's not spayed. She is out of heat cycle now though and has been since we moved. She does seem hormonal, though she would be the first unfixed female I've ever had to be moody several weeks after heat. Just odd that she directs it toward my husband and not everyone. She's certainly not as perky with people as she used to be. Used to she greeted me at the door with her tail wagging and ears up. Now she greats me with tail wagging and ears drooped. Her energy is the same though. Plays the same and doesn't have any issues on the walk doing what we always do. If she's depressed about the snow, I don't blame her. I am too. _________________ |
| | | TwisterII Senior
Join date : 2013-06-14 Location : Missouri
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Tue Jan 07, 2014 5:10 pm | |
| She has been protesting her kibble lately. She eats it but eats less unless I hand feed her then she eats it the same as a treat. She poops fine and drinks as much water as she always has. We had issues with resource guarding when we first moved but that has been resolved. _________________ |
| | | TwisterII Senior
Join date : 2013-06-14 Location : Missouri
| Subject: Re: Depressed after move Wed Jan 15, 2014 12:35 pm | |
| I think her grouchy phase is slowing down. She hasn't growled at anyone in about a week so that's good. Had an odd episode last night that was a first though. Brought her stuffed dog into the bedroom with her while I was getting ready to go to sleep and laid with it on the bed. She hasn't touched this dog in weeks and never takes toys out of the living room ever so that in itself was strange, but what really got us was when we turned the lights out she cried for 5 minutes with the toy in her mouth. Never since we've owned her has she cried. I cuddled her for a little bit and she finally went to sleep. She slept in our bed all night, it's the first time in a month that she has. Not sure if she's sensing that one of us is going to have a heart attach or maybe an earthquake is coming. It's sure odd. I'm going to talk to vet today. _________________ |
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